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SUCH IS THE LOSS I FEEL (Free verse) by ARTIE

Sometimes it is slow other times it seems painful. But I now know from within the depths of my heart I was prepared to believe in you I believed you would be there... forever. I believed that you were different, that you could be the one to have heard such a beautiful song. T’was the song from my heart and why I felt broken when at the loss of your touch your innermost thoughts the light in your eyes and your everlasting smile. I feel [broken] for such a loss. Where are you now when I need you the most?

nentwined 30-Jan-15/1:21 PM
This feels like you're writing from the heart, trying to find the words to make it more universal...but the effect for me is just that's it's more generic/bland.

The T'was feels affected, and [broken] stands out in an odd way as you're not playing with/using punctuation anywhere else....




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