Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

She Dreams of Yesterday (Free verse) by Phalkon
another day goes by she only lays in bed the days go on without her she feels so sad she's so lonely now and she dreams of yesterday in her empty house in her empty room where light can never enter she wears her clothes of grey because they match her hair and she dreams of yesterday she's never had true love she's never had a life she's never had a family she never had money but she never had greed and she dreams of yesterday she dreams of better things she hopes for sun some day every day is dark and gloomy she cries herself to sleep in her empty bed and she dreams of yesterday she lives another day of her empty life no one's there for mercy she believes in God and an afterlife but she dreams of yesterday but she dreams of yesterday...

Down the ladder: Your Fable

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 20
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7610
Posted: May 13, 2004 6:33 AM PDT; Last modified: May 13, 2004 6:33 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.192.54 | 13-May-04/11:07 AM | Reply
"the days go on without her...and she dreams of yesterday" makes no sense.

"she's never had true love
she's never had a life
she's never had a family
she never had money
but she never had greed
and she dreams of yesterday" makes no sense.

"every day is dark and gloomy...and she dreams of yesterday" makes no sense.

"she believes in God
and an afterlife
but she dreams of yesterday" makes no sense.
[n/a] Phalkon @ 205.188.117.6 > zodiac | 13-May-04/4:54 PM | Reply
does everything have to be written?... or can nothing be left to the imagination?... she dreams of yesterday because the pain grows as each day passes, she dreams of yesterday because it was one less horrible day in a seemingly vapid life
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.192.14 > Phalkon | 13-May-04/5:15 PM | Reply
Hmm. No, my imagination still tells me you're a dork.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > zodiac | 13-May-04/6:10 PM | Reply
Your imagination seems to tell you that 13yr olds are older adults that goes to extreme measures for sympathy... ...And your imagination is wrong... So... what makes you think this time it is right?
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.155.233 > Blindpoetry | 14-May-04/3:31 AM | Reply
As usual, I have no idea what you're saying, Blindpoetry.
[n/a] Blindpoetry @ 68.106.171.15 > zodiac | 14-May-04/9:43 AM | Reply
I was saying that your imagination is wrong...

*ponders* .. maybe I'll get a satisfactory reply if i include bow'ls in this reply?

...Bow'ls...
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 | 13-May-04/2:07 PM | Reply
Not too bad, but you may want to consider changing this to a lyric and adding a chorus or something. Just a thought...
[n/a] Phalkon @ 64.12.117.6 > wilco | 14-May-04/5:44 AM | Reply
i actually was thinking about making this into a sort of non-rhyming song like Sting's "fields of gold".... but i have yet to come up with a tune for it :\
[n/a] zodiac @ 67.240.192.111 > Phalkon | 14-May-04/6:07 AM | Reply
Might I recommend one of these?

http://tinyurl.com/2f39x
[8] titan69 @ 62.31.24.156 | 13-May-04/2:08 PM | Reply
makes perfect sence to me.8/10
[7] sliver @ 63.190.73.71 | 13-May-04/8:29 PM | Reply
She's probably better off than most.
[8] ARTIE @ 127.0.0.1 | 28-Oct-14/1:07 PM | Reply
She dreams of yesterday - because now that she has opened her mind to the reality of despair, she harkens back upon a simpler time.
216 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001