Re: a comment on ........ by Prince of Void	Skamper 202.6.129.123	17-Jun-07/12:05 AM
no can't say that I have - worth it? this reads much better, there are a few things I would change but it's all personal preference.
Re: a comment on Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:47 PM
Yep, it's already been mentioned. Gunna do sumpin bout it.
Re: a comment on Resume by drnick	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:44 PM
Men typically handle love horribly, you less horribly than most.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:36 PM
Would you prefer "styles in worship like designer jeans"?
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:33 PM
That makes two of us facing a small army. Lock arms brother, here they come.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:30 PM
I was trying for a pun on the drink "Southern Comfort" but maybe it's too funny for the subject.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	Dovina 72.161.233.65	16-Jun-07/3:26 PM
The "one great offer" isn't trite. My musings - maybe.
Re: Between two Truths by Dovina	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:44 PM
Give up on the trite musings on God and religion.
Re: leaves of clover by lmp	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:35 PM
I think verses 2,3,4 are really well written the overall story from then on gets a bit daft though. N.B. I don't think wreck rhymes with nect'r whichever way you strangle it.
Re: Temptation by nicole081083	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:30 PM
lustful temptation? burning sensation? is this about VD.
Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:28 PM
Mentioning may twice in a couple of lines is inelegant. Otherwise perfectly fine.
Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:24 PM
I'm not sure if I'm reading this right. Were you one of the chinless wondren responsible for the perming of frizzled hairs.
Re: Beslan by Ranger	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:17 PM
I don't really know what a holy minor fall is, I think you mean a pun on minor as a child and minor in music but to what end I'm not sure. Also try and avoid cliches like coming gloom crumbling tomb. Other than that good. Some of the phrasing is quite complicated but good. The poem is strongest where you explore the physical nature of the balalaika and play with the metaphor.
Re: No-Strings by sca	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/2:02 PM
No need for the damn it bit. The third verse is the weakest by far so I'd shelve it. Other than that sweet in a kind of naive pimply way.
Re: Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/1:58 PM
I like the voice. I like the way you throw the last line too.
Re: bitten {one liner} by sca	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/1:53 PM
enough with the redundant parentheses. and shouldn't it be a firefly presuming the firefly is the 'he' part of the simile
Re: [Gasp]{last letter, first letter} by sca	richa 85.210.32.212	16-Jun-07/1:49 PM
There isn't a whole lot of point in having the end letter of a line and the letter at the beginning of the next line the same. I understand it was an allpoetry challenge. It was a stupid one. It works for the s's sonically but y at the end of a word has a different sound to a y used at the beginning of a word. When you do these challenges things seem kind of forced also.
Re: Between two Truths by Dovina	drnick 216.144.215.157	16-Jun-07/12:34 PM
Well call me crazy, but I do like the fourth line; it's a good comparison because much like the colors of cars, the kind of church is a preference of what is basically all the same thing. Very nice!
Re: a comment on Resume by drnick	drnick 216.144.215.157	16-Jun-07/12:25 PM
This is about a friend I've liked for a long time and who has recently told me she feels the same towards me. Thus the first two lines. The "nitty" are my thoughts/feelings towards the question of "now what?" as we are both moving away in about a month and a half. Personally I'm trying not to get too involved because of the impending move, but I'm finding that very hard to do. It's a tricky situation that I'm handling horribly. Thanks for letting me unload this upon you, whether or not you care ;)
Re: a comment on ........ by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 80.71.126.78	16-Jun-07/11:38 AM
well did u watch the movie called " lost highway " ?