Re: a comment on I Am A Reality by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	19-Jun-07/10:30 AM
best manic song: Bjork's "violently happy"
Re: F Log-On by Skamper	drnick 24.247.158.152	19-Jun-07/7:55 AM
Very funny...not that I can relate or anything.
Re: a comment on The One I Threw Back by drnick	drnick 24.247.158.152	19-Jun-07/7:52 AM
What about, "I've buried myself inside these mistakes"? I prefer the torment that hindsight can deliver others ;)
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	Christof 62.121.23.56	19-Jun-07/4:04 AM
This is really new from you! This like Ezra Pound meets Lenny Bruce - really enjoyable and funny and letting its satirical teeth gleam. It's good to be abck on the 'ranker. The end of a very long dry spell has brought me back and it's good to see old friends here.
Re: Eleven Reasons For Love by horus8	Christof 62.121.23.56	19-Jun-07/4:01 AM
Horus It's been a long time since I last came here and some of the old timers have gone - where is God'swife's poetry? - but how good to see you're still here, still spitting it out according to your own personal rhythm - I like it.
Re: The One I Threw Back by drnick	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/2:30 AM
The dream becoming blurry, works better for me. I've buried myself inside mistakes or Buried myself inside my mistakes..or I'm buried inside my mistakes...not sure on the proper english for this but seems to be too many "ownership" words in this line. What you reckon? I love the torment hindsight can deliver.
Re: The wait by aliena	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/2:22 AM
"The verse that would come forth" seems a little clumsy - I think it's the "that would come" not sure about it. It mucked up the flow for me. Also, you could drop the 'that' from the second to last line. I liked the musings within this piece.
Re: a comment on I Am A Reality by Skamper	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/2:15 AM
well - I'm not totally sure what to make of it myself. Lyrical, I hadn't really thought much about that, except there is a rhythm to becoming manic.
Re: a comment on Bonded by Skamper	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/2:07 AM
lol - NICE!
Re: a comment on Bonded by Skamper	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/2:05 AM
can't get any closer than satan and his maiden...just checking in
Re: a comment on The Lover and The Rapist by Skamper	Skamper 202.6.130.121	19-Jun-07/1:54 AM
I follow what your saying - but this isn't about sex, (apart from the ways we twist intentions to get it) so the reference to cumming would be a bit dodgy.
Re: The Lover and The Rapist by Skamper	SupremeDreamer 72.11.95.174	18-Jun-07/7:02 PM
"make all your birthday wishes – true" why didn't you inlude COME? Speak it out loud, tell me what beat is missing? Check This: make all your birthday wishes cum true while I push my fingers deeper into you --- Do you get what I'm saying? That aside, here's a nine.
Re: a comment on Tropical afternoon by cpill	cpill 88.73.92.48	18-Jun-07/4:39 PM
Yes perhaps thats the wrong word to use. I wanted to convey that hot and "flushed" (perhaps a better word than hot) feeling or the end of hard emotion, like I would imagine a female menstruation. An though you feel the sticky wet as a a discomfort its actually like the cold rain at the end of a hot day.
Re: Lines and half lines by aliena	pete 62.56.56.38	18-Jun-07/3:10 PM
...i think she's got it .... a self referential poem that leaps about with brilliant humour ! .......
Re: Just words by aliena	pete 62.56.56.38	18-Jun-07/3:05 PM
this is something we all go through .... and you did care enough to submit .. in my view a poem of no value except as exercise .... but do you care? .... :-)
Re: Bonded by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	18-Jun-07/7:37 AM
if this is really as erotic as it sounds... seems like a scene out of some "master - servant" relationship. a little oral pleasure as a welcome back? not sure what the narrator's "story" is really...
Re: I Am A Reality by Skamper	lmp 141.154.134.3	18-Jun-07/7:34 AM
i would say this falls into more of a lyric category. i cannot help but hear someone rapping this out. some interesting thoughts here. not sure yet what i take away from it, so after re-reads, i may change my vote.
Re: Bonded by Skamper	drnick 216.144.215.157	17-Jun-07/6:59 PM
Dark and erotic, like your mother.
Re: a comment on Between two Truths by Dovina	some deleted user 64.140.228.180	17-Jun-07/9:30 AM
I caught that right off--its great line and not at all too funny for the subject--although the meaning might escape our British brethren.
Re: a comment on No-Strings by sca	sca 124.191.65.7	17-Jun-07/1:39 AM
damnit was originally in the first line, moved it on recomendation. and yeah, I don't like the third all that much either, but it was written about a real person, and at the time it made sense... to me, haha.