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The Lover and The Rapist (Free verse) by Skamper
You’re quite the little fashion statement A gadgeted device - unseasoned I’ve seen you heart shaped and draped over shoulders of the great and meek alike worn with impressive determination the leaders of the flocks insist an irresistible doctrine for our political/satirical nation shall be seen and if I’m correct believed – but we wonder don’t we on their intended manifestations In five steps we back away from closeness if we find a window to look through all the better – don’t you think in a reflection there’s overlooking - some shading - smoothing movements seen and never felt from here we can fondle undergarments of the finest – kind be aware and not awake I can watch the gardener picking pieces - the choicest first in his clever hands I will write of you – sing sometimes too I can pinky promise - sincerity make all your birthday wishes – true while I push my fingers deeper in your flesh and protest! I shall Yes! I want to save your best for last did you see me – parading I had a sign – save the planet it means - I really love you I was wearing dirt and sweat and frowning like they do There may be a little bleeding – don’t pay it any heed cos you see - it will be OK You love me too – don’t you?

Up the ladder: crossroad

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Weighted score: 5.1589375
Overall Rank: 5119
Posted: June 12, 2007 3:41 AM PDT; Last modified: June 12, 2007 3:41 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 12-Jun-07/9:29 AM | Reply
not sure i really want to know what this is about... i kind of got use of internet for shopping, deflowering of a virgin, and those two don't seem to paint a nice picture.
[n/a] Skamper @ 202.6.130.10 > lmp | 16-Jun-07/10:38 AM | Reply
no on both counts but yes on not a nice picture
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 72.11.95.174 | 18-Jun-07/7:02 PM | Reply
"make all your birthday wishes – true"

why didn't you inlude COME? Speak it out loud, tell me what beat is missing? Check This:

make all your birthday wishes
cum true
while I push my fingers deeper
into you
---

Do you get what I'm saying? That aside, here's a nine.
[n/a] Skamper @ 202.6.130.121 > SupremeDreamer | 19-Jun-07/1:54 AM | Reply
I follow what your saying - but this isn't about sex, (apart from the ways we twist intentions to get it) so the reference to cumming would be a bit dodgy.
[9] SupremeDreamer @ 72.11.95.174 > Skamper | 19-Jun-07/6:37 PM | Reply
Perhaps, but still, why did you leave it out and insert a dash? Stutter effect?
[n/a] Skamper @ 202.6.132.127 > SupremeDreamer | 20-Jun-07/3:39 PM | Reply
It is a pointless word that didn't come out when I wrote this so I see no need to add it now - Interesting how automatic we are when reading something, finding it doesn't make sense if all the words aren't in the sequence we are used to.
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