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Just words (Free verse) by aliena I write because I want to create
And words are the easiest
I want to create
Things of utility
Things of beauty
But nothing I create
Feels useful
I can only write
Write words, string them together
Break them across lines
Pretend it is poetry
Because today I want to create
Therefore I wrote
I dont care if this is not useful
Up the ladder:
does anyone have sleeping pills for me?
Down the ladder:
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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Posted: November 14, 2006 10:55 PM PST; Last modified: November 14, 2006 10:55 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.970199 Overall Rank: 8486 Comments:
[7]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
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15-Nov-06/6:55 AM
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Reply
Fair enough. You might want line 12 to be 'because today I wanted to create' - just to keep tense consistency with the line after.
This is pretty good. 'And words are the easiest' is rather cack-handed (the easiest what/of what). I like 'break them across lines'.
Thanks Ranger! Point taken. Will make the change in the revised version.
Thanks Howl. I agree. I am thinking of a suitable line to clarify my intent.
this is something we all go through .... and you did care enough to submit .. in my view a poem of no value except as exercise .... but do you care? .... :-)
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