zodiac
on Someday Soon by Drunk Russian Poet
26 Jun 2004, 9:54 PM
Why did you stop being nowhereman?
Yes!!! You actually listened to my suggestion!
"distant whelm" is very nice.
quite a few nice bits in here as I read it again. I hope I don't seem to ignore those when I say much of it is smothered by one, two and three letter crap words.
Try a version without them for your own viewing, tell me if you don't like it.
2 spelling errors take away from it: consciouseness, akward.
fine otherwise.
The rare rain is a good metaphor for something, and nicely described, but I'm loseing what it is. And who is Miguel Antonio Francis?
In spite of a dozen or more spelling and grammar problems, I think I got the point.
The effort is there, but for something so moving it lacks...lacks...motion. *7*
Maybe the feature song of a sitcom-style broadway play written by a gay Edgar Poe...but other than that, quite normal, if not abnormal. Wait! Oh. *8.1*
Hey ... I really like this poem ....
Very deep yet so real ..
Thumbs up! (",*)
Considering the fact that you got the inspiration
of writing this piece from 'In the Forest Of The Night'.. I admire that .. I like it a lot and thanks
for writing it in my book ... Heheh. (",@)
It's good .. thumbs up! ... You managed to make others
feel your emotions and you explained the poem well.
kum und sit on my sofer let ust talk about diz
2 limerickes a day should maken you feel mutch better!
Yar i liken diz I hope you wor a condome?
the use of Ayudame is the best part of this; elevates it.
I like the wedge and the verse doesn't seemed cramped to fit it.
The significance of this 72 year old man, other than his affinity to disabled women, is lost on me.
The gene pun is horrible, DRP - I just can't get past that.
You may very well be saying some profundity - but if so, you have a clown nose on while doing it.