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Absolution (Free verse) by Drunk Russian Poet One night can't be enough
for reliving near-death experiences
and in nine long months
there will be a new you.
He must have been wearing
your favorite genes
for you to have gone this far.
Don't you think he should know?
Trampling down the dusty road
of bittersweet revelation;
should you be a liar or a cheat,
it will be the chance of a lifetime.
In the many conversations with yourself,
do you ever question your own sanity?
The truth often hurts,
but silence is betrayal.
Where will you be when judgement comes?
Holding your bastard child,
and explaining the situation
to ears that should never hear those words.
Up the ladder:
The Dead Sea
Down the ladder:
Spunkorpumpernipple
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Posted: June 24, 2004 7:48 PM PDT; Last modified: June 24, 2004 8:51 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.4610424 Overall Rank: 2890 Comments:
I take it as a kind of priestly advice for gaining "Absolution" for having committed the perceived sin af adultry, advising the woman to tell her child his breeding. She questions whether to tell, apparently because of guilt feelings. The last verse is provocatively ambiguous because we don't know whether the "ears" are the child's or the world's. Good.
The gene pun is horrible, DRP - I just can't get past that.
You may very well be saying some profundity - but if so, you have a clown nose on while doing it. 189 view(s)
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'Favorite genes' is a little corny, but one gets used to it. You need to chose between 'gone to far' or 'come this far'. the last line in that stanza doesn't feel important, it wouldn't change a thing if it wasn't there. In the following stanza the last line is so confusing. 'should...cheat,' is phrased like a question, put the puncuation's not. If this line is not meant to be a question it might work better for you if you get rid of the 'a's in front of 'liar' &'cheat'. 'but silence is betrayal' I like this line quite a bit especially for the end of a thought. the 3 questions after bring this poem down several points. Like I said, the silence line is so good, those next 3 lines just slow down the momentum. the last stanza's really good, the'ears' can be interpreted as belonging to a variety of listeners. On a personal note my son's a bastard. I told him when he was 8, before anyone else had a chance to, he took it very well. He's not ashamed of it, i've heard him tell his friends on several occasions. I don't think it has the stigma attached to it that it use to.