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Absolution (Free verse) by Drunk Russian Poet

One night can't be enough for reliving near-death experiences and in nine long months there will be a new you. He must have been wearing your favorite genes for you to have gone this far. Don't you think he should know? Trampling down the dusty road of bittersweet revelation; should you be a liar or a cheat, it will be the chance of a lifetime. In the many conversations with yourself, do you ever question your own sanity? The truth often hurts, but silence is betrayal. Where will you be when judgement comes? Holding your bastard child, and explaining the situation to ears that should never hear those words.

god'swife 24-Jun-04/8:29 PM
Very interesting. The first stanzas confusing, you got one night and nine months. Maybe if you put a period after the second line and remove and at the beginning of the next. I like the idea in the first stanza.

'Favorite genes' is a little corny, but one gets used to it. You need to chose between 'gone to far' or 'come this far'. the last line in that stanza doesn't feel important, it wouldn't change a thing if it wasn't there. In the following stanza the last line is so confusing. 'should...cheat,' is phrased like a question, put the puncuation's not. If this line is not meant to be a question it might work better for you if you get rid of the 'a's in front of 'liar' &'cheat'. 'but silence is betrayal' I like this line quite a bit especially for the end of a thought. the 3 questions after bring this poem down several points. Like I said, the silence line is so good, those next 3 lines just slow down the momentum. the last stanza's really good, the'ears' can be interpreted as belonging to a variety of listeners. On a personal note my son's a bastard. I told him when he was 8, before anyone else had a chance to, he took it very well. He's not ashamed of it, i've heard him tell his friends on several occasions. I don't think it has the stigma attached to it that it use to.




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