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The Sea (revised) (Free verse) by Dovina
I had never especially liked the sea,
because it came with the beach.
Its few beautiful brown people
and its masses of repulsive pink people,
its noise and its smell and its glare,
I felt disgust when I was there.
He saw only clean, clear water
rising to clean, clear sky.
He heard only rhythm of waves.
One side of them was like the underside of water,
one side was the waterâs top, he said,
and the crests were yet another thing for him.
We walked along the shore,
away from the sound of people,
and climbed the cliff to dark cormorants
and white seagulls.
We listened to the surge of sea
and calling birds.
He became unaware of me.
Compared to waves and cliffs,
birds and clouds,
I was of no interest.
He forgot to help me over the steep places.
I followed him,
feeling humbled,
as a little sister would,
tagging after a wise brother.
He showed me the world he loved,
and after that I loved the sea.
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.875
Weighted score: 5.5042653
Overall Rank: 2674
Posted: June 22, 2004 8:18 AM PDT; Last modified: June 26, 2004 1:51 PM PDT
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Comments:
357 view(s)
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#1 why clean clear not clean, clear?
#2 why not
And after that
I loved the sea.
Was it for form's sake?
Besides, I like repulsive pink people at the beach... especially with wasabi, soy sauce and a side of ginger.