Bhaskaryya
on two flies by suckmychucks
28 Dec 2004, 10:35 PM
That is NOT a limerick.
Limerick is supposed to be of 5 lines and follow therhyme scheme of aabba
Pretty nice!!
There you are!!
Personally I don't bother much about votes. I appreciate comments more because it helps me know what exactly one thinks of my poem and it helps me improve.
A 9 from me.
Votes make it more clear and exact, depending on who comments.
I liked this a lot. Didn't spot any errors. (but was i actually looking? nope)
Flowed well.
This is just for my girlfriend
Freaky twist at the end
Fuck your "Buddhuist-oriented Christian Humanism", buddist don't believe in souls. And let me ask you Doug, What difference, huh? What? The fact that your writing crappy marked to crash and burn poems, yea you deserve capped on.
Balls.
again, unselfish... beautiful.. 10
okay i suppose, but to be frank this is extremely long and doesnt really grasp my attention - i gave it a 5
To be on the hurt side of a broken love is not very happy. You feel that all you do is glisten and glitter with tears, a prisoner to the in between, while the other person gads about freely, never knowing your pain. Or maybe you've learned to glitter and glisten in public, hiding the tears.
Lost her eh? Too smooth and stylish maybe. Couldn't prove it by the way you spelled smooth, what's and you're.
The little pleasures we grasp onto to alleviate life's pain. Good job. prithee??
If you must rhyme and use a sing-song poesy style, then make the rhythm regular. Better still, find something to say.
I'm surprised you didn't get more comments and votes. The only detraction I see is the grave of fear in the mind. Grave implies death of fear, but the rest of the poem talks of a fight with it and then again at the end, putting it in the grave. But fear is never completely dead. A good poem overall.
Not bad except for the grammar. The soul is a concept not well developed.
very good.. 10
HaHa!!! Great poem!! Very much like a breathe of fresh air on the site.
Awesome!!!