DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Road Tripped

Member since 2003 · Posted 28 Dec 2004 · 8 comments

Pain couldn't be the cause of this Your the pedaphile Pain shouldn't be blamed for this I have a smile What this is Is just a fase What this is Is just a angsty fase You walk all along And never find loose change You walk forever And always find loose receits Turn in my body So I can go to sleep Turn in this body So I can find a deep deep Pillow Find your way through The tunneling gates Find a way through The surrounding gates Walk and walk alone Down the streets of Hay hay ven And be eaten today This is what you Deserve for every Things can't be pronounced But can be broken My heart and yours We were like chinese checkers Your going to jump my men And find another...

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mean 5.50 weighted 5.06 rank 6708 views 277 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

8 comments

[9] Bhaskaryya 28-Dec-04/10:20 PM Reply

"Your going to jump my men"

Ain't it supposed to be YOU ARE??

[n/a] Blindpoetry › Bhaskaryya 28-Dec-04/10:25 PM Reply

Small, detailed grammar isn't important to me.

You read it the same.
Who cares.

[9] Bhaskaryya › Blindpoetry 28-Dec-04/10:31 PM Reply

But it's important to poetry. They mean different things.

Spelling PHASE as FASE is acceptable and infact quite fine. That much of liberation is fine but YOUR and YOU ARE means two different things and can never be used as substitutes.

Could you please read my latest poem too? It's another acrostic.

[n/a] Blindpoetry › Bhaskaryya 28-Dec-04/10:33 PM Reply

in pimple, I'm sure almost everything bad is allowed. Think of this as a pimple, then.

And i already read it.

[9] Bhaskaryya › Blindpoetry 28-Dec-04/10:37 PM Reply

DO I THEN DESERVE A COMMENT?

[n/a] Blindpoetry › Bhaskaryya 28-Dec-04/10:38 PM Reply

Do I then deserve a vote?

[9] Bhaskaryya 28-Dec-04/10:41 PM Reply

There you are!!

Personally I don't bother much about votes. I appreciate comments more because it helps me know what exactly one thinks of my poem and it helps me improve.

A 9 from me.

[10] Lifeboatman 29-Dec-04/7:06 PM Reply

jump her men too... 10