Moan moan moan.

I really like the first verse a lot. It's smooth and clear: "My best was never enough Against you at your worst I'm always a close second Compared to your first" I like how it rhymes just here and there without sounding fake or funky. It sounds like it just flowed out that way.

I also like the students who whine about needing to walk all the way from a hall at the bottom of the hill to one at the top and doubtless wonder every morning on the bathroom scale why they weigh 200 pounds more than I do even though they're a foot shorter. As a poeme, it's utterly terrible, of course, but I do like the sentiment.

And can we get back to the poem for a minute? 1) There's no connection between inappropriate apostrophe use and "renegade poet comedians" on poemranker except that two (maybe three) of them sometimes write "you're" as "your". They don't do that because they've got a problem with apostrophes; they do it because they're making fun of everybody on the site who confuses them all the time. In any event, that wouldn't be an apostrophe problem; it would be an apostrophe-AND-misspelling problem. 2) Again, colloquialisms and apostrophes are not necessarily related. Wherever colloquialisms ARE written, they're written with apostrophes. In fact, most colloquialisms are written with more apostrophes than standard English, as exemplified by the colloquialisms at this helpful site, Black Country Sayings: http://www.sedgleymanor.com... 3) "Renegade poet comedians"??? It seems like just a little while ago you were calling them stuffy bastions of conservative poetry. Anyway, are you aware of what a TOTAL REVERSAL that is? And I bet if I comment on someone's punctuation today, you'll be back on how I'm keeping poetic experimenters down with my strict adherence to Victorian standards. Without realizing you've spun so fast, you've left your britches still traveling in the opposite direction. 4) "dim" was the word about six months ago. Since then I've gone through periods of using "bum", "Retard Islam", and god knows what else. So, way to keep up! Glad to hear "dim" hurt the most, though! 5) There is no incrowd. No one says anyone's uncool on this site. Except me - I say you're uncool. 6) Bow'ls is an appropriate (though archaic) usage. Otherwise you'd have to pronounce it with two syllables. Anyway, no one here invented it. 7) By the way, bow'ls is SO two years ago. 8) As far as I can recall, no "renegade poet comedian" on this site has ever used dropped g's (ie, "makin") for a gag. You, however did affect an accent for an entire comment once (here: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=119983), so are you insane? 9) I'd say the "it" part is about me since I overuse it in my comments here, but you'll just say I'm totally unsupported it's about someone else, so whatever. I do have a problem overusing it on this site. If that's what you're talking about, good one. 10) In short, this poem is totally crap, not a poem, and grounded in some lunatic assumption that everyone on this site except blacksoul, al-nafiysh, and Dan g-B is unreasonably out to get you. I'm serious, that's what lunatics think. If you're going to respond, "what a bunch of drivel i couldn't be bothered to read it or whatever", please don't. For one, it just makes you look like you're intimidated by reading more than a dozen words at a time. And for another thing, I went to the trouble of putting it in handy bullet-point format to avoid exactly that problem. Hey, thanks for paying attention!

This is prose, and while wordy, you touch on good points of introspection. -7- <3 Jason

As I'm sure you've been told, this is god aweful long. Each of these poems are great. I love the images and the way that you have painted with the canvas of my heart. If these poems wouldn't all have had worked together, exactly the way they do, my vote would have been a 5(one for each poem here), just for being so long. But as is, 10. Excellent writing. <3 Jason

I really like this poem. Short, simple, and to the point. Just how I like them.

"Basking beneath All of the darkened stars" Comment: I like that! It has opposites in it. Good word use, I think. "I’ll build myself up Don’t rely on anyone Because people can change And secrets can be undone" Comment: I like the sound and truth in that rhyming. I think this is a good introspective poem - juli :)

funny that this is your highest ranked poem.

I think you forgot "stupid"

With the possible exception of the shoestring, nothing - no image, line, phrasing, structure, or anything else really - is very original here. You'd be great for writing a dictionary of poetic tropes.

This is really very good.

psychologically very bland: we can discern nothing because we know nothing about the speaker's relation to the admired. as it is, the poem comes across as a melodrama: speaker in a tepid relationship, has newfound passion finds hard to express, takes lover to beach to soften up him or her, ocean symbolizes something like the freedom of expression the speaker desires, and this freedom entails a degree of amnesia to forget any troubles from the relationship's past that might hinder the present communication of passion. i realize this is a gross deconstruction of sentiments that are often very tender and profound, but the blandness of your poem warrants such a criticism. consider rewriting the following trite imagery: "the waves come in across the bay and break, and break, and break." "sun baking" "waves breaking" "Now it's all I have left to give" "we'll make it here when we get out of here." i found "mizzling rain" awkward. it is, after all, akin to "drizzling rain," when just "drizzle" would suffice. here, however, "mizzle" is too unwieldily to have alone. so, i'd rewrite that as you see fit. the poem does have two instances of superb word choice: "lullabye crush" and "amnesiac sea." new imagery and psychological depth would make this a strong poem.

I can tell you are a pretty intelligent person, maybe above average, and very articulate...I like this poem. I wrote one about being "burned" once....one of the phrases was .....new skin under the burns...... This poem brought it to mind. That's all I can remember of my "burned" poem. I was pretty crazy over that guy. I've forgotten all about him now, oh...and the poem was thrown away with the memory. That's all I could retrieve from that dusty part of my memory. Good stuff, pinkbunny-guy. I'll read some more of yours.

oooops. I forgot to vote

Few typos, this is more "pimple" than "freeverse", and inside/mind. -6-

"Come, lets dance, with flames and silhouettes" I REALLY like that imagery. In fact, your whole poem was like I was right there. I was right. You ARE very articulate...and very intelligent. Poetry pretty much tells on a person, who they are and all that. A very good piece.

ANOTHER good one.

I'm normally all about the emotional poems, but honestly? If this was pimple I might have cut you enough slack to give this a 5. As is, a 2. All you've done is bitch at someone whom I seriously doubt will read this. The rest of us, don't need to see this.

awesome. Good grief, man! This is really good stuff.