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Black Clouds (Free verse) by Haleyj
These black clouds aren’t moving They’re just pouring the rain I’m soaked in my misery And every inch of the pain Sometimes I walk alone Trying to wash away The sins that I’ve done They’ll never go away I drench myself From head to toe Trying to wash away, misery I walk for hours Staring at the all the passing cars Basking beneath All of the darkened stars Smiles are just masks Who hide who we really are And I wear that disguise To hide who I really am You’ll never get to me The pearl in the clam You’ll have to break me To find me When you’re done with me You throw me back in the sea There I’ll drown Just like I am now Broken, miserable, and despaired Making myself a new vow I’ll build myself up Don’t rely on anyone Because people can change And secrets can be undone Greediness is a common curse Its almost every where you go And as I walk in the rain I notice this Because it fills me from head to toe

Down the ladder: my friend beth we wear

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Weighted score: 4.8410625
Overall Rank: 10673
Posted: March 19, 2005 9:09 AM PST; Last modified: March 19, 2005 9:09 AM PST
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Comments:
[4] juliharrelson @ 172.159.148.85 | 19-Mar-05/1:08 PM | Reply
"Basking beneath
All of the darkened stars"

Comment: I like that! It has opposites in it. Good word use, I think.

"I’ll build myself up
Don’t rely on anyone
Because people can change
And secrets can be undone"

Comment: I like the sound and truth in that rhyming.

I think this is a good introspective poem

- juli :)
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