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The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest (Free verse) by luzrheroguy
My best was never enough Against you at your worst I'm always a close second Compared to your first This is getting old and I'm getting so tired Of watching you take your trophy When you know that In the morning It won't mean anything Don't you think that its funny How I taught you your style and grace And how hair could be the perfect accent to a face The truth is heart breaker, I helped make you Its at times like this I can't help but wonder What have I done? I can't hate you, but at times I long to Did you forget what I have given you Have you forgotten The burdens I've carried for you Or the long shots I took Just to keep you breathing Now I find myself Believing... That maybe... I might have been wrong I see what you do and don't I agree You're the talk of the town When they see me, you're always around You play off my clever lines, and heart felt words Just to get what you feel, you deserve Sometimes I wonder What you think, I deserve I never had a problem with sharing You should know that better than anyone But you can't take from me everything And leave me with nothing Thats what I call theft The day I woke up with nothing left You'd robbed yourself Of my company

Up the ladder: Drive it Down
Down the ladder: The cat who would fly

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.8
Weighted score: 6.4
Overall Rank: 787
Posted: March 19, 2005 6:45 PM PST; Last modified: March 19, 2005 6:45 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] juliharrelson @ 152.163.100.135 | 19-Mar-05/7:03 PM | Reply
I really like the first verse a lot. It's smooth and clear:

"My best was never enough
Against you at your worst
I'm always a close second
Compared to your first"

I like how it rhymes just here and there without sounding fake or funky. It sounds like it just flowed out that way.
[n/a] luzrheroguy @ 4.225.141.102 > juliharrelson | 19-Mar-05/7:18 PM | Reply
Thanks. It did.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.26 > juliharrelson | 19-Mar-05/11:54 PM | Reply
Yeah, I just thought I'd let you know that luzrheroguy is my user name as well. I'm mainly leaving myself the breadcrumbs of copyrighted intellectual property for my super hero satire of sorts.

<3 Jason
[6] juliharrelson @ 64.12.116.195 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 27-Mar-05/8:15 PM | Reply
WOW! It's you!

It's weird (maybe that's not the right word), but I am naturally attracted to your poetry. I didn't even know this poem was by you, but I was drawn to the poem and then drawn into the poem.

I like your way of writing. (I have a confession to make --- I have been reading a lot of your poems, although I didn't vote on them. I should have.)

There is a definite authenticity about how you write that is very attractive, like you are baring yourself, baring your journal for people to read, only it rhymes and it's VERY good.

Anyway, I am definitely drawn to your writings, as are others. Don't stop. It's a gift...... juli harrelson :)
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 4.224.24.3 > juliharrelson | 28-Mar-05/7:04 AM | Reply
Yeah, its me.

Have no fear. My gift won't go wasted. I have youth on my side.

<3 Jason
[8] oneglove @ 205.133.194.138 | 22-Mar-05/11:43 AM | Reply
at times very cliche but very smooth, i liked the line "And how hair could be the perfect accent to a face", the last two verses arent as strong as the rest of it. i think it would be even stronger if you just cut them out. overall good job *8*
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