Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	17-May-05/12:19 PM
What, may I ask, birthed the Idea for this poem? I am not the giver of the anal retentive 5.
Re: Learning to Drive by jessicazee	Dovina 69.175.32.185	17-May-05/12:24 PM
Although the ending implies what you really learned through the experience, I think a more compelling comparison could be made.
Re: Panthera pardus by ingwa	Dovina 69.175.32.185	17-May-05/1:56 PM
I'd give it a more reader-friendly title. First verse is good. Third verse: Use immense or huge, but not both. Slinks should be slink to go with "you." In the fourth verse you change from "you" to "he" Why? I think you shouldn't. Welcome to poemranker.
Re: The Awesome One by ingwa	Dovina 69.175.32.185	17-May-05/1:59 PM
Not as good as your first. I counted three grammatical errors.
Re: Bush Fire by ingwa	Dovina 69.175.32.185	17-May-05/2:14 PM
You seem to know what your are talking about, but the presentation is lacking. Description lacks color, the ending is not provocative. For example on the last verse: Always the risk An act of God Always new Never expected
Re: Love shall set you free by stacylynn_3	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	17-May-05/4:07 PM
The AABB rhyme has a disastrous effect on story & mood but if you really insist on this sequence, at least chop up the verse into eight stanza's. Watching a few good slasher movies could also improve on your poetic imagination. 'I scream with all my might', but the poem's tone is hardly more than a mumble.
Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	17-May-05/4:55 PM
It needs courage to take Carroll's story a step further. And here's the problem: you didn't. Your version turns a disturbing dream into a rather vulgar nightmare and in the process misses out on the fine-tuned philosophical jokes and nonsensicals of the original. This poem's like one of those MAD-parodies on movies but without the tong-in-cheekness. (And the MAD-parodies weren't subtile to begin with) So the poem has very little to do with Alice in Wonderland. This could work, I think, if you strip (no, not that) Alice from her innocence and let all inhabitants of Wonderland stay the way as Carroll created them. Let HER confuse/terrorize THEM.
Re: I'll Be In My Bed, My Grave by longships	Alizarin_Crimson 198.7.247.203	17-May-05/5:57 PM
I don't know about you, but....I don't rape my brothers, or my sisters. And I also don't use white powder or brown nicotine. And I don't despise those who seek to be different either...man's only enemy IS himself. Well done. We have no natural predators left, so obviously, the only thing that can kill a person, generally, is another person.
Re: Sugar by celticskatermatt1	Plaidypus 198.7.247.203	17-May-05/6:38 PM
LOL this made my day.
Re: am i right? by celticskatermatt1	Plaidypus 198.7.247.203	17-May-05/6:39 PM
You are my favorite Poemranker poet, at this time. Why? Because you are just HONEST...
Re: There’s A Voice Deep Inside My Head by celticskatermatt1	Plaidypus 198.7.247.203	17-May-05/6:44 PM
All the lions are clawing at your guts right now, because they can't stand the fact that your work is more sincere than theirs. Thanks for remaining Un-pretentious. Hopefully they will start to pay more attention to the cocks up THEIR asses!!!
Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus	Plaidypus 198.7.247.203	17-May-05/6:45 PM
DAMN!
regarding some deleted poem...	Settle 68.226.91.98	17-May-05/8:10 PM
Jesus you niggaz are stupid.
regarding some deleted poem...	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.249	18-May-05/1:12 AM
Welcome back, you skinny negro. How's Erin?
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	18-May-05/5:43 AM
It takes a long time to come to the essence.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	18-May-05/6:14 AM
Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please, Please be true. My only ever sincere 10 on one of your poemes which I reserve the right to convert to an ironic -10- should your mishapen wheeledchair ever loom large again on the poemranker horizon.
Re: How to treat young ladies by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	Hallmark 129.12.235.73	18-May-05/3:28 PM
Fraser Allonby Q.C. can get no flange just arse d'you see yet being a poor unfortunate sort his bournville bar was made too short there's scarcely enough to tickle the rim Of any Gaylord's manly quim
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.72	18-May-05/6:01 PM
I'm confused as to if someone made it through or didn't. I love -pebble-. And I I could use -Portend- as well as you use the funny word, I might be good.
Re: visitor by Dental Panic	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.72	18-May-05/6:05 PM
Echos of my Poem on a face. But MUCH better.
Re: Just a perfect day (Haiku) by ingwa	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.72	18-May-05/6:08 PM
Works for me.