The Awesome One

Member since 2005 · Posted 3 May 2005 · Edited 17 May 2005 · 3 comments

My heart, my soul cries out to thee The caring guardian of all The life force behind everyone It surrounds and envelopes You experience the greatness When eyes have been opened Awareness and observation Causes a skip of the heart Often ignored, neglected Not respected every now and then Taken for granted always Some lessons truly learned Do not abuse and forget The astounding things surround Giving light to inspiration Science tries to explain The mover of mountains Creator of storms Destruction easily created Impossible to harness Oh Mother Nature You infect my senses My heart is deeply moved For you're The Awesome One indeed.

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mean 4.67 weighted 4.96 rank 8558 views 231 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[5] Dovina 17-May-05/1:59 PM Reply

Not as good as your first. I counted three grammatical errors.

[n/a] ingwa › Dovina 17-May-05/2:17 PM Reply

Hello again Dovina. Thanks for reading once again. I'm sorry to hear that you didn't quite enjoy this poem and I am concerned that there are grammatical errors. Would you possibly share these with me so that I can improve this write? I appreciate all comments and feel that good constructive criticism is very helpful.

[5] Dovina › ingwa 17-May-05/2:21 PM Reply

I would not use the Old English "thee" unless you use that language all the way through.

"Causes a skip of the heart" should be "Cause . . "

"The astounding things surround" should probably be "surrounding"