Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Gone Wrong (Free verse) by XpunkXgirlX
I'm sitting here thinkin' bout' the times we had, All these memories held in my head, We laughed and we cried, Remember all of the good times?, Now we don't talk because you don't care, This I just can't bare, You sit with all your friends, While I'm all alone in my head, You were a part of my life, Now you're the reason I hold this knife, Now blood runs down my arm, Falling into your harm, If only you knew how I felt when you were around, You were like my brother, Now I sit here and wonder, Do you think about me when I'm not around?, Do you care about the things I said?, Do you care about the memories we had?, Or will they be lost and never found?, I held your hand when times were bad, I comforted you when you were sad, I backed you up when you were mad, You pushed me aside, Now I feel so sad inside, Can you say that you hate me even when I'm away?, If you looked in my eyes you would see how I feel inside, I wish I could be by your side and laugh like we did all of those times, My heart has shattered like glass, I wish this feeling would surpass, I guess I must have really fucked up this time, I loved you and I cared, I must have done something wrong please tell me what it is.

Up the ladder: Fiery Hands
Down the ladder: The Fire You Give

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8639
Posted: February 16, 2004 9:44 AM PST; Last modified: February 16, 2004 9:44 AM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] lastobelus @ 217.82.1.186 | 16-Feb-04/3:16 PM | Reply
Jesus christ it must be difficult to walk down the street of a typical american city these days what with all the debris from exploding/shattered teen hearts, the corpses littering the sidewalks of kids who just couldn't handle their life of never being hungry and having the best medical care, schooling, clothing, & toys in the history of mankind.

Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. You are no punk. You're a fucking whiner.

There's another 16 year old on here who actually knows how to write. She's called Fear of Garbage. Maybe she's 17 now.

Look her up: THAT's poetry.

This is not poetry. It's whining.
[0] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 17-Feb-04/2:56 AM | Reply
"My heart has shattered like glass,
I wish this feeling would surpass,"

Strong evocative sentiment.
[n/a] Christof @ 217.44.77.166 | 17-Feb-04/9:08 AM | Reply
1. I'm sorry, this poem has contravened that 1997 European Directiev outlawing the rhyming of 'bad/mad/sad' for at least another 4 centuries.

2. Honestly, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
170 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001