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A Lover's Lament (Free verse) by woodstock20000 If only I could've been left alone,
to dance joyously in my own ignorance.
If only to be that fortunate!
But no,
the fire on your lips has burned
the cellophane off my eyes -
My Innocence has died by your kiss,
and I can only watch
as it's scattered embers fly into the night...
Up the ladder:
On Satisfaction
Down the ladder:
Gone Wrong
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Posted: March 29, 2006 1:29 PM PST; Last modified: March 29, 2006 1:29 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.9602656 Overall Rank: 8623 Comments:
[7]
matt door @ 65.32.138.73
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29-Mar-06/6:41 PM
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Reply
I like the simplicity and regret, but the fluency and word choice could be revised.
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