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am i right? (Free verse) by celticskatermatt1 sometimes people look into your eyes
and they wonder if your the one.
wanting more and more once they look,
fighting against love and hope
will we ever see the truth?
the one time my heart beats faster
is for you.
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Posted: April 26, 2005 4:30 PM PDT; Last modified: April 26, 2005 4:30 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.5965877 Overall Rank: 12551 Comments:
[4]
Dovina @ 204.250.12.246
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26-Apr-05/4:51 PM
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Reply
"will we/they ever see the truth?" is the most overused and senseless line in all of poesy.
2nd line...should be "you're" instead of "your". You have so much feeling here...try to relate it to us in real language...pretend like you are telling your best friend how you feel in this poem in real words, instead of trying to "write a poem." Because I think you can. More, please.
Okay, a tip about poetry. Write like your on crack and seeing funny shit. In other words be inventive.
You are my favorite Poemranker poet, at this time. Why? Because you are just HONEST...
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