T. Jonathron Remp
on Someone took... by Tyler J. Mancini
28 Jul 2008, 7:52 PM
I would probably go ahead and recommend not writing poetry ever
This is not a haiku, this is something my neighbor's elderly aunt vomited up after eating spoiled green tomatoes
i like the concrete jungle's tie-in with life's musical jingle, either way you're caught
must of been a hefty poo, seeing as how it generated a twin. so i have to double my score? not really, hahaha.
If you're too drunk to play guitar, it's okay to play the catatonic scale...
downward strum and a blank face
you forgot about sporks... gouging out eyes is way too easy, though, right...?
is me actually commenting on this your first radio signal? sorry...
I like everything except from "plot" to "fans". It has a great beat.
Pretty good flow but ending too soon.
Becoming more like willow than oak is very Dao and very cool.
Verse 2 displays drunkenness; please proofread.
Verse 5 is a thing I learned 20 years ago. But Verse 6 blows it.
The final verse is a disappointment to a good poem. Goals should always be subject to change.
Where the heck is GUD anyway? I liked 20% of it and that's a lot. Be like Homer, I say, write for absolutely no reason at all and try to sell nothing.
GOD YOU SUCK WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I LIKED IT A LOT
What you need to figure out the correct form of a sestina. fail.
Hi D. i remember cheering for you on your 200th poem, and here I see you've done another 100. Way to go girl. But what is this I read 'Amanda Dcosta has gone to heaven'? LOL. I was highly amused with that statement.
Ok... guess its time for Amanda Dcosta to step down from heaven and return to our PR World. You guys have been missing me for long..... Hello everyone... good to see you all. Cheers to PR. I'm back !!!
Am left wondering what this 'what you' is about ...
Interesting.
A lovely read.
I stopped reading halfway through.
Lose, Lose, Lose, Fail
Caducus,
Very nice! Touching but not overly sentimental or "easy". I'm not sure about the various winds, but the imagery is interesting and "comfortable". The progression toward sadness comes through strongly, and so does the loneliness of dealing with Downs Syndrome. It has a clean, natural, "unpoetic" feel, which is a very good thing! Great job.