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Childhood Memories (Other) by Jessina
Beyond the farthest sphere Rainbow flaunted its myriad hue Buds of shimmering memories rose Fervently like gurgling streams Tingling my heart’s rope Of those gorgeous days Merrily dancing and singing Along with happy buddies Full of fun and cheer Playing hide and seek Plucking jasmine flowers Ardently chasing fluttering butterflies A great delight to countless eyes Gently grabbing the petals of love That comes from high With a gentle sigh Celestial bliss of true comradeship Gone are those delightful days Busy now in concrete jungle Away from life’s musical jingle How poignant this would be

Up the ladder: The Equalizer
Down the ladder: Behind Closed Doors

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.5
Weighted score: 5.1185646
Overall Rank: 5927
Posted: July 7, 2008 9:22 AM PDT; Last modified: July 7, 2008 9:22 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 68.123.141.188 | 9-Jul-08/10:13 PM | Reply
Last lines:

How poignant this would be
if it didn't remind us of hallmark cards and
the sweet nothings; words combined that sound good--
and say nothing. Your poem plays hide and seek.
Hidden is the expression, while the reader seeks
the point of the poem.

How poignant this would be:

If you hadn't tried so hard to be poignant
and miserably failed.

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No Vote. Though, in all honesty? This should get a zero.
[8] FreeFormFixation @ 98.212.148.58 | 29-Jul-08/2:06 AM | Reply
i like the concrete jungle's tie-in with life's musical jingle, either way you're caught
[n/a] Jessina @ 117.97.2.147 > FreeFormFixation | 7-Aug-08/8:46 AM | Reply
Thank u so much
[7] amanda_dcosta @ 82.178.132.117 | 25-Oct-08/4:06 AM | Reply
Hi Jess, good to see you around. What's happening and how have you been ? Good to see your poem here.
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