Timber!

The poo to end all poos passed through me today. I had to break it up in thirds to triple flush it away. It had a marble coat and a corn skin hat. A helicopter twirl with the width of a bat. When it hit the water it emptied the bowl soaking my nuts & drowning my hole At first, I felt better Until I caught whiff Of its mashed components and all the 'what ifs'. Like, what if it's deadly? Or what if it talks? WHAT IF IT GETS OUT OF THE POT AND WALKS!!! My mind was awash with endless scenarios Then out burst its twin in deafening stereo. I reached for my ankles I clutched my wet socks Trying to recall when I'd last ate cinder blocks? Sweat poured in torrents From my face, and my back I moaned as if birthing a breeched tire Jack. There were knocks at the door of love and concern I even heard grandma Say a prayer for her fern But the plant had long withered and dried to off tan Since, I can never remember which switch is the fan.