suspension of disbelief cancelled... in a bad way.

you make me reflect and regret upon all the long stuff i've ever written

Shootin craps? Gambling addiction? Hmmm.

Ok, well my only real issue is that... this isn't a lyric. I've heard nor seen a thirty second song. Seven.

Tell me about it.

Um... the ending is the only thing I liked. It was a good ending, the last three stanzas... if you could call those stanzas. Four.

Actually, no. It's not quite a haiku YET... 575. What we have here is 565. Add another syllable to the middle of this, and my six would become a seven.

Not bad, not bad at all. Eight.

thorough the reflection of toilet mirror-- ....? through? hmmm? You know, if your going to be depressive and write a poem about it for worthless bastards like me to read, could you do me a favor? Could you atleast make it interesting? Please? And original? Without the befuddled flow and the gutted speech? Or the cliches like "I used to think the world was too (so) big? I have these thoughts too. But, see, I've learned that such thoughts written and shared doesn't amount to poetry-- it only gives proof to everyone that you didn't have something worth writing about. Five.

oh, god... this reminds me of when my dad used to buy and sell those things... i must have eaten 100 microwaved happy meals...

too much... too little attention span... but props on the good intro

he wrote it already. no sequel necessary.

i never got a flower for my b-day, and somehow, my dad was never offended...

lame (no pun intended)

if you're happy from point a to b, as you've defined here, then you're good to go my friend

lobotamy?

i like wires and grass tied together. Very concrete. i think your last two lines were unecessary

i dont know if i want to be taken there.

eh

eh