From high up inside the glass case They’d leer at me with infantile grace As day-by-day I’d watch the aisles Knowing, knowing all the while That one day they would come for me. I knew one day they would be free. She strode into the store in corpulent splendor Her very presence beckoning thunder Her purse, a body bag tied with string Key chain a mace, plush bodies hung on her ring. The woman’s reflection engulfed the display. Her visage waiting, salivating, sighting her prey. Atop a Beanie Baby tower The hottest sale this hour Clutching in her hand the collector’s mag, She spied Bumble the Bee with Fourth Version Heart Tag. She bought it, charged it on platinum AMEX Just six hundred thirteen dollars including tax. An admiring customer walked up to see. She picked up the plush little bumblebee. Turning it over, inspecting the chap, When suddenly, the swing tag went, “SNAP.” Time became slower, slower, slower As the Ty swing tag fluttered to the floor. And the Beanie matron watched in horror The bumblebee’s value lower…lower. Her rage building toward a bloody crescendo, She raised her fist, delivering a deathblow Smashing the poor woman across the head With the heavy key ring, striking her dead Her skull breaking open the beanie display case The blood pouring down her vacant face Splattered and sprayed onto Inky and Bongo Dripping toward Jolly and Gobbles and Congo, Their slavering priestess out of her mind, Muttering only, “A fitting end…for her kind.” The next few moments stay transfixed in time A horrible nightmare, no reason nor rhyme As the frightful woman stood there teetering, I swear to you, the beanies, they began…chittering. Chittering for blood in a frenzied way Clawing and scratching inside their display, For they flittered and chittered, clawed and spit. They slithered and slobbered, they howled and bit. Pouring from the case a plush-filled flood, A terror awakened by violence and blood. While the beanie collector stood in a trance Watching the cuties banter and dance In unison they leapt and plunged Towards her enormous girth they lunged. Bones the Dog bit her leg, Freckles grabbed her coat Crunch the Shark bit her arm, but Princess Bear went for the throat. I ran in terror. I tried to flee While the Beanie Babies feasted happily. I hoped to escape this sadistic dream Haunted and followed by the woman’s screams With Patty and Pinky nipping my heels And all of their friends from the Happy Meals. Trapped in the corner, I took up arms. I picked up a Nerf gun and sounded the alarms. I tried this action, but the point was moot So I smashed the Teenie Beanies with my boot. They splattered in a puddle of blood and piss So much for Pinky, Quacks, and Liz. I tried for the register, feeling empowered But alas, the old woman was completely devoured. So I dropped my gun and hit the fast track I ran like Hell and never looked back But now I’m safe from their domain Although the doctors say that I’m insane. They’ll never find me if you don’t tell Beanie Baby-free in my own padded cell.