"Was I just another bulimia?" -Yuck- The rest is OK.

It does sound like a lyric, doesn't it. Pretty catchy one too.

here'a link to the Laibach version: http://media.putfile.com/Laibach57 hope it works

great poem.

A great poem about loss. I live in the north east and can identify with "the delicious sadness of fall." Good job!

It seems a complicasted way of saying she ignores you.

I like the style. There's a bunch of missing punctuation and randomly capitalized words, and 'addiction' is misspelled, but the half-rhymes are really cool. I kind of wish this was a little more meaningful than a book report.

"all kinds of guns waving in the air" and "explaining how my arm hurts" are really weak lines. The rest is pretty good.

In a different league to the rest.

Absolutely superb.

Here's a perfect example: REASON: Dovina might be slightly racist. DOVINA'S BELIEFS: Nooooooooooo!

This would be good by Keane doing British pop doing Radiohead.

The best of your lyrics I've read. My only suggestions are drop 'serenade' and keep the last verse more naturalistic, like the others.

I like the music references. What I don't like is using the worm so much. There's already a great poem with that image, you need to add something, a strong image of your own.

I predict you're not going to care what we say about this poem. Good for you. You'll show us.

Brilliant. *10*

Thought you might like this. http://www.poemhunter.com/p/m/poem.asp?poem=93543

Cool. Like a screen play for Sin City. Cyan9. I'm surprised you didn't point this out.

I like the Islamic references, but wish you'd leave Bin Laden out. Would be stronger I think just showing the attitudes. And prestidigitation adds nothing over magic. Some good images, but some are vague.

Good.