Sympathy for the Devil reference...nice..

A 36-minute dream. Were you watching the clock?

Thanks for the comments. I've always had a little trouble knowing when the piece is "complete" or if it still needs some work. This piece I've been writing and rewriting for over 10 yrs!

Oops sorry; I didn't intend for that to happen. What did I do wrong?

O Dear, not another one. When will these people realise.... I felt compelled to give this a low vote, firstly on the basis that it lulled me towards the position of wanting to vomit, but not enougth so as to stick two fingers down my throat. Secondly it uses the word love a hell of a lot, without saying anything about your feelings or this other person, and so feels somewhat less than loving and more like a manic fad; whether that is the intention or not.

Absolutely full of actions to analyse and think about. Draws readers like me to think much deeper into your personality than most pieces that aim to state who you are. I think I might use this style later in order to try and shape a persons experience by the actions and pathways that you give them to analyse, rather than to present them with the analysis in a statement (may lead to a much richer form). Back to the poem though, I found a slightly unpleasant break in the flow at the stanza with the unborn word to be an absolute high point of the piece. If you had continued with the flow all the way, I may have thought that this was a delightful little piece and should score it an 8 for having a nice rhyme; however the break in the flow caused me to pause to think, and thus dive into the analysis and the ideas that this provokes. My only problem is that I dont quite understand the 2 lines about statring "To give".

Imaginative title, piece kind of reminds me of Sin City

excellent; the last stanza (is that the correct word?) is simple and clear (a 'lesson' I could stand to learn!) elderking

Dovina- Thanks. It's mostly a true story that happened to me a few summers ago. That guy was bizarre! Thanks for your comments and interest. elderking

I take the good doctor as a creation of the character Marvyn Hyde. (You need to change the footnote.) It portrays for me the process of self reinvention, which I can relate to. Alchemy thought you were talking about drugs, and maybe you are.

Why do you curse the gods for you unforgivableness? Still, it's a haunting lament.

I will comment and vote on this if you will promise not to delete any more comments that are not your own.

Sin City. Captivates the feel of gangster talk from films, I thought there were places where the piece could benefit from more elaberate use of language e.g we Moved the bodies to the car outside seating two Italian >>> We packed the stiffs in the motor Outside seating two butch mafiosos -pardon the spelling-

I have been accused, elsewhere on Poemranker, of plagiarizing this poem. I ask you, has plagiarism occurred when I cite the source and describe how I use it?

Something that I think everyone thinks at some point, put very clearly, although the last line one would suppose should mean that your tongue was trying to trick you; except your tongue tripping over imples that somebody else had caught you.... perhaps a little more than meets the eye here, or someone looking to hard???

How is that modern. My grandmother could do all those things and probably did and her lifestyle was never more modern than what you might see on The Waltons. Unfortunately you can't meet her because she died in the late 80s. Maybe change modern to free and you might have more of a statement. The first stanza has nice rhythm.

She doesn't hang out at the same places you do.

Good Luck, theyre difficult to find, Ive been looking out for quite some time.

It's the way of emotion, and emotion gets it's way. After "Due Consideration" (see my poem by that title) we decide by the seat of our pants or by what feels right. You've said it well.

this shouldnt be # 1, not saying it should be last though. maybe # 10293.