I have no legs because I am a superb example of frog-ness, and my legs really are my best feature. I wish I had something constructive to offer - but shock value poetry doesn't do it for me. No barbed comment back, please, I really care.

I offer critiques in all sincerity, so, I think you could rework this a bit - 3rd line: shortening it or The trick is in darting between the teeth. . . as a suggestion. Tapping them on the tongue is great

It's like you wrote this quickly and sloppily - inconsistent capitals, unclear references, missing periods.

There are a lot of good basics here, but it yaws in order to make certain statements. Line two of verse 2 should be 'has opened' - don't sacrifice good grammer to achieve an end.

Some deep emotions here. Line 7 should say 'ground' instead of grown. The odd spacing tears up your cohesiveness. When you have good stuff to say, it doesn't need a lot of odd punctuation . . . A rewrite would be my suggestion. I would love to read it if you do one.

Just a first thought I had... numbering detracts from the power of your words. Need a capital S in first line. Repetitive she lends it a rhythm.

In my opinion, using thine and thys is risky. Those are usually used in reference to a deity. None of the tone of the rest of your work uses formal English to match. Hateness is not a word. There is an incongruity with soldiers out of breath...smacks of reaching for a rhyme. Next to last line -thine is not proper - thy is correct. Last line, there is no need for an apostrophe with see's... the apostrophe makes a possessive. Same on fourth line from bottom - no apostrophe.

I know poetry used to have all first line capitals, but I feel it lends to the flow if second lines are in small case.

Intranet, may I point out that I got scolded for having made no useful criticism - ie, great work, etal. This poem has no constructive criticism at all. No big deal, but I thought about what you said and have been critiquing to help because I thought praise was not acceptable comment. Peace!

Cute observation.

no crimson?

I like the end it wraps it up well

Good good good good good. Anvil eyed. Daimler. Could you make it longer? Seems shor for memoirs. 9.5

Second verse, lines 2 and 3 don't make a clear statement, at least to me. Good basics here - needs spit and polish.

Your absolutes rock. This would be better as an essay, in my opinion. Needs a cleanup of punctuation and spelling, and you need a space between until and when. I think you have a good piece to trim and mold into a really nice essay.

Lots of love here. I think it would do well with some pruning and tightening up, endline repair, and pruning. It is jagged to read, needs a smoother flow to do justice to your thoughts.

Such angst. This really needs tightening and endline cohesion of some kind - as is it rambles all over the page. Take it from me, add punctuation, it gives edges and smoothes out the bumps.

Cute. Maybe a stretch for rhyme though, my friend. line 6 is out of synch... could omit 'trapped and'. Cheese wigs is not a familiar term to me, so am supposing it is a bug??

Stanza one is good. Stanza 2 does not carry the maturity of the first. Stanza 3, line 4 needs work. End period please.

I'll echo the six. Read this aloud to yourself and you'll be able to fix it easily.