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Follow The Rainbow (Free verse) by forestchild7
Watching you sleep, as I dream of us; The possibility is overwhelming, and I don't know what to do anymore; They've taken you away from me, and I can only imagine what it would be like now; Somewhere, out in the darkness, she responds to my plea, and I know I have a chance, even if only once in this lifetime; It's not what you think, because you know me better than that; These gilded bars are now peeling, and I have seen through the lies holding me back; You shall be free, and we shall be together as foreordained; Your love shall blossom as the rose, and we shall have eternity to do as we choose; I have loved you long, and can not wait for you to be back in my life; So follow the rainbow, and I shall be waiting at the other end... ***Written May 8th, 2002***

Down the ladder: how bad is this

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10027
Posted: August 13, 2002 7:26 PM PDT; Last modified: August 13, 2002 7:26 PM PDT
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Comments:
[4] Sisterwolf @ 207.69.137.20 | 28-Dec-05/6:56 PM | Reply
Lots of love here. I think it would do well with
some pruning and tightening up, endline repair,
and pruning. It is jagged to read, needs a smoother flow to do justice to your thoughts.
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