| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Grieving (Free verse) by d35 His inner eye wouldnât stop
crying A sorry sight to see tears
dripping down metaphysical cheeks
He loved it better when he
couldnât feel why canât he cut
this loose disassemble it bury it
in the cold grown
covered in a wet dew
Running away doesnât help
when will it die?
when will he?
his thought saturated
the cold sweat of depression
a colorless rose made of thorns
no use throwing it away
will just prick the skin
of his emotion what's
going to save him?
âoh it hurts inside, when
will we die?â
Up the ladder:
The Birds
Down the ladder:
Fingerless Gloves
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: January 8, 2004 6:05 AM PST; Last modified: January 24, 2004 3:18 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.5 Overall Rank: 2689 Comments:
[n/a]
deleted user @ 24.222.81.233
|
24-Jan-04/3:23 PM
|
Reply
Je pense que vous avez signifié pour taper le "sol".
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.82.13.226
> deleted user
|
24-Jan-04/3:40 PM
|
Reply
really? I thought they meant gown. You know, after they cut this loose [off the corpse], they bury it [wrapped up] in the [corpse's] cold gown. Makes more sense, don't you think? I think it's pretty clear the pome is about the fevered thoughts of a serial killer.
[n/a]
deleted user @ 24.222.81.233
> Goad
|
24-Jan-04/3:41 PM
|
Reply
S'il vous plaît recevoir hors et toucher plus de gens
[n/a]
zodiac @ 67.240.192.172
> Goad
|
25-Jan-04/8:44 AM
|
Reply
It's 'ground' not 'grown'.
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.82.11.166
> zodiac
|
25-Jan-04/10:56 AM
|
Reply
No. Gown. Incontrovertibly gown.
[n/a]
zodiac @ 67.240.192.127
> Goad
|
25-Jan-04/11:48 AM
|
Reply
If it isn't gown, it should be. But I think he means ground.
[n/a]
d35 @ 205.188.209.112
> deleted user
|
24-Jan-04/4:47 PM
|
Reply
what are you saying? I only know english
[n/a]
deleted user @ 24.222.81.233
> d35
|
24-Jan-04/4:53 PM
|
Reply
Pourquoi les hommes gais?
[n/a]
d35 @ 205.188.209.112
> deleted user
|
24-Jan-04/4:57 PM
|
Reply
maybe b/c your gay
[n/a]
d35 @ 205.188.209.112
> d35
|
24-Jan-04/4:57 PM
|
Reply
im just kidding
[n/a]
deleted user @ 24.222.81.233
> d35
|
24-Jan-04/5:08 PM
|
Reply
Zwei nacktes Wirbeln von fröhlichen Männern unter Ihren Höhlen säumt.
[10]
MaliqaTara @ 205.188.209.112
> deleted user
|
24-Jan-04/8:37 PM
|
Reply
ja liebe ich meine fröhlichen Männer
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.82.11.166
> MaliqaTara
|
25-Jan-04/6:24 AM
|
Reply
War dass ein Ausdruck, was tomcheese hat gesagt? Mein Deutsch ist zu schleckt es zu verstehen. Es hat mir kein Sinn gemacht, eben wann ich habe google und leo benutzt.
[10]
MaliqaTara @ 205.188.209.112
> Goad
|
25-Jan-04/8:41 AM
|
Reply
OH-, Brunnen kannte ich nicht diesen Ausdruck. Zur Vorliebe für mich Haha. Danke für das Erklären mir
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.82.11.166
> MaliqaTara
|
25-Jan-04/10:49 AM
|
Reply
Ja, aber ich habe gar nichts erklärt, sondern habe ich eine Erklärung gesucht! Jedenfalls, morgen werde ich einem Kollegen fragen, ob was der tomcheese gesagt hat, macht Sinn oder.
[n/a]
Goad @ 217.82.11.166
> deleted user
|
25-Jan-04/12:21 PM
|
Reply
Kleine wichser, das ist kein Deutsch.
[n/a]
d35 @ 205.188.209.112
> deleted user
|
24-Jan-04/4:54 PM
|
Reply
um maybe ground, or gown
nice, but maybe something happy next time
"happy" like your B.S. :-*
Some deep emotions here. Line 7 should say 'ground' instead of grown. The odd spacing tears up your cohesiveness. When you have good stuff to say, it
doesn't need a lot of odd punctuation . . . A rewrite would be my suggestion. I would love to read it if you do one. 256 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
