i know nothing about baseball and am very poor at outdoor sport, so i don't think my vote would be fair. nevertheless, it is a nice poem and i think i'll vote when i connect with this properly. till then, please excuse me.

Tastes good...yeah.

How does one know that millions of souls fly into space? ha ha just kidding. Good work, though. :-)

Romans 8:28.... All things work for good to those that love the Lord..............

It's good. I've read it and re-read it, and each time it sounds better.

I do see one thing that might help you - don't use and anymore than you have to. As in line 12, the first and could easily be eliminated - another thing you can do is use commas instead of and, you will convey your meaning and it's much smoother. I really do like this very much.

Do you mean, '"Dress me well for Karen," he said.'?

Very elegantly descriptive. Except for the punctuation, i don't think i need to comment further. I admire a poet's view for what he writes. So no changes.

I have been reading his again and again and must sqay that this is good. I like the punch in the last para.

Short and sweet. to the point.

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Line 3 should i say: he drew his breaths like a miners pick instead of heroes sword? Its a draft for sure but thanks cldtrucky

wordplay maestro :_)

This is an excellent poem. You could play around with line breaks for the heck of it to try to add a little extra punch, but other than that I would'nt change a thing. wonderful job.

Not as good as some of your other stuff--but it did make chuckle, and that earns a 9.

Are the first two stanzas an intro of sorts, with a different rhythm? I can feel the rhythm in the last six stanzas but not in the first two. Also in line 4, stanza 1, is it supposed to read "there's a million" or "millions of?" And in stanza two, line 3, is it supposed to read "thread," as you have it, or "tread." Sorry if I seem nit-picky but an answer to these questions is helpful in getting a true handle on the poem.

Incorrect. the warnings say nothing about falling off or causing laughter. up your alley!

I agree. Rhyme or don't rhyme, not both. It's fixable. Just read it over and over aloud and work out the bugs.

The last line of stanza 2? maybe change to "I'm running away scared." But as far as I'm concerned it's fine to mix the styles up a little. This isn't your best work though. I believe on God. I'm not sure why. Maybe you can give me some logical explanation for believing in God.

Maybe a twentieth gage would show semicolon twitches. I hear one sounding wrong, even without turning the panel down.