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when i met sky alone (Other) by Prince of Void 4:00 am inside.. scene of death
the chilly breeze of dawn on the cold face of life
when i met sky alone
silence deserted ....
and the poem has never been written ..
[part one ]
Up the ladder:
P.M.S.
Down the ladder:
Chronic Depression
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.428571
Posted: December 30, 2005 1:06 AM PST; Last modified: December 30, 2005 1:06 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.846319 Overall Rank: 10619 Comments:
[n/a]
Prince of Void @ 213.207.224.156
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30-Dec-05/1:06 AM
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Reply
...............
Huh.... whats this about..... unable to connect with it.
I was just starting to become interested; then read the last line and it was lost.
u are right ....thanx for ur comment ...can i ask ur ? what makes u interested in the first line
actually it wasn't the first line that caught my interest it was liine 2 & 3. . .both are keepers. The last line left me feeling like "what? is that all there is?"
thanx for ur comment ..soon i will tell everyone why i have this style
Line 2 is good.
I agree. Line 2 is really good--the rest is confusing.
i will wait for the other parts before voting, but so far it feels a bit disjointed: first two lines read like an opening scene for a overly-dramatic "private-eye" novel, then it becomes personal and ethereal.
the next two lines lead me to believe your neighbors made too much noise for you to finish writing...
You are right..i think this is a very good p.o.v to this poem ..i like this comment...soon i will tell everyone why i have this style ..
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