Re: My Prayer by dana071287	Dovina 70.38.78.229	12-May-06/9:28 AM
I think God listens to this kind of gushing, but I can't imagine Him doing anything about it. Too sentimental, too little desire for real change.
Re: The Man with the Fiberglass Head by MacFrantic	Ranger 62.252.32.15	12-May-06/11:49 AM
Ever heard that Kinks song, 'Plastic Man'? This put me in mind of it. Great poem.
Re: A Snap Shot by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 62.252.32.15	12-May-06/11:59 AM
Nice - fewer uses of 'the' would have been nice, it makes it seem a little disjointed at the moment. Also...I'd love a bit more in the way of description of the porpoises; I'm on the verge of actually seeing this snapshot, but it's just agonisingly out of my grasp... Easily 8, probably 9 with an edit.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	Dovina 70.38.78.229	12-May-06/12:00 PM
You've stumped me with this one. The first thre lines are nice, then I'm lost. Will come back later. Token vote, as you say, to start the comment counter.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	12-May-06/12:13 PM
Ranger, I need to read this more clearly during the day. It's 00:40 hrs now and I'm quite tired. Sorry for no vote now. I did read it, and it looks interesting, but am unable to be specific right now.
Re: You can go no further. by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	12-May-06/12:20 PM
A very interesting piece, quite to my liking. Dovina, I really admire the way you have your poems ready, one after the other, and am sorry to say that I haven't given much of them their due credit. Wish I had more time. Am awfully busy. Shifting next week. I read this a couple of days ago and reminded my self to come back to it. I like it.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	lmp 141.154.134.3	12-May-06/2:52 PM
huh... maybe it is fitting that the structure is set up like it is: fairly lucid, then almost frenetic and disjointed, until a rather slow "crash" to a more lucid state. ever listen to skinny puppy? go read some of their lyrics... there's a trip for ya: http://www.lyricsdir.com/skinny-puppy-lyrics.html http://www.lyricsdir.com/skinny-puppy-addiction-lyrics.html http://www.lyricsdir.com/skinny-puppy-last-call-lyrics.html http://www.lyricsdir.com/skinny-puppy-spasmolytic-lyrics.html http://www.lyricsdir.com/skinny-puppy-worlock-lyrics.html much of their stuff doesn't seem to make sense, and other stuff is all dubbed clips. and it all seems much better heard than it does read. anyway... hey, i caught your trademark leaf image... i also like the title bit: "temporally uncertain" . a play on "temporarily uncertain"? so i'm gonna vote a 7 for now; i know you mean to tighten this up. it will be very interesting to read as it develops.
Re: Return to Marrakech by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	13-May-06/5:06 AM
Looking decent on first view; the football's about to start though so I won't stay long. Will return later to read it more thoroughly and maybe pick up some inspiration. Lord knows I need it at the moment.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	13-May-06/6:17 AM
Sounds like you're trying to show the love affair that addicts have with drugs. My problem is that you can't really tell who's doing the talking and who they are talking to. I guess maybe some solid points of reference to anchor the poem would help the reader to follow you. Right now it seems to be almost entirely metaphor.
Re: A Snap Shot by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	13-May-06/6:30 AM
Not your best. It's like a post card for the blind, like beauty that's just skin deep. It seems to give me nothing more than a pretty picture which I guess based on your title is what you were intending. I just know you are usually much deeper than that and those are the ones I prefer. But that's really just a matter of my own taste in poetry so take it with a grain of salt.
Re: Drowning by Enkidu	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	13-May-06/1:48 PM
I too find love can be like drowning. On a side note, here's the most famous drowning poem I know: Not Waving But Drowning Nobody heard him, the dead man, But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought And not waving but drowning. Poor chap, he always loved larking And now he's dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, They said. Oh, no no no, it was too cold always (Still the dead one lay moaning) I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning. -Stevie Smith
Re: George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:46 AM
Parrots have their feelings too!
Re: sick and demented by sk8boardandpoems	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:50 AM
Illiterate and badly written garbage.
Re: Im different so what? by xblackstarsx	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:52 AM
I assume this is intended to be illiterate childish rubbish in which case it succeeds. So 10/10 for beng worthless and puerile; 0/10 for anything else.
Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:53 AM
About as funny as 9/11. But less original.
Re: Beard my Homemade Negro Jesus (Improved! With AIDS!) by Everyone	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:55 AM
Too long and drawn out. I got bored by the 4th or 5th stanza. A couple of decent jokes in it though.
Re: The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.67.200	14-May-06/2:56 AM
OK I suppose. The final word of the last line of the penultimate stanza would be funnier if it were "bitches".
Re: Rock Bottom by dana071287	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.80.221	14-May-06/3:02 AM
Not excatly what you'd call either original or clever.
Re: My Barber Cut My Hair Too Long by D. $ Fontera	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.80.221	14-May-06/3:05 AM
Random thoughts from a creative mind. But not much good.
Re: youth in asia by suckmychucks	Edna Sweetlove 81.179.80.221	14-May-06/3:06 AM
Unfunny. Unclever. And it's not a limerick. Dreadful in short.