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A Snap Shot (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta
The boat, brightly coloured,
Fishing,
Lay anchored and still.
The distant horizon,
A curtain of blue,
No distinction between sea and sky.
The white flaky clouds
Radiated summerâs smile.
The porpoises jumped gracefully,
A song in their eyes and heart.
The sun dived in
For deeper blues and greens.
The tide rose,
and so did my heart.
Picturesque,
Captivating,
Wonderstruck!
I wanted time to stand still.
And at that time I believe it did.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 5.1430435
Overall Rank: 5433
Posted: May 12, 2006 11:54 AM PDT; Last modified: May 12, 2006 11:54 AM PDT
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Comments:
250 view(s)
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Easily 8, probably 9 with an edit.
And the porpoises, well, it was their mood that I took note of. Maybe I should have given more thought to what they looked like. Thanks for the suggestion.
As for the use of 'the', I was merely being specific of what I took into account. Not just writing on anything at all. Well, this is just my opinion. Shall try to see how 'the' can be deleted, and where. Thanks Ranger.
R.E. using 'the' - specificity works well here, it's just when reading aloud the repetition is very noticeable and so draws attention away from the rest of the piece. You can replace 'the' with, maybe, and adjective and still retain the directness in my view. However, it'd be worth seeing how other people read this; they might say the complete opposite to me.