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The Magic Of Autumn (Free verse) by lil_evil_boi
Is autumn coming? Yes. She is coming to embellish every yard with golden leaves that shine like mirrors in the dazzling sun. Does autumn have a voice? Yes. If you listen meticulously, you may hear her velvety hands soaring through a dense forest, hauling leaves up toward the blue sky. Does autumn have hands? Yes. She lays down a carpet full of fluttering vibrant colours of poppy, pumpkin, sunflower, nutmeg, signalling the beginning of the ending of another year. Is autumn every happy? Yes. When she is, you can see beams of sunlight streaming down from the heavenly sky, leaving us with immense delight. Is autumn ever sad? Yes. When she is, the radiance of our rainbow world swirls into the tedious colour of grey and lethargy covers the world. Is autumn ever angry? Yes. When she is, dark clouds form in the gloomy sky, as raindrops plunge down like millions of needles, and if she is boiled with rage, blazes of lightning will cascade down. Does autumn have sympathy? Yes. She brings back the memory of loss of family and friends with the blooming of the abundant poppies. However, it also silently eases the pain with the giggles of another newborn life in the world. Does autumn have scent? Yes. She wafts through buoyant, crisp air and pours essence of damp, moist ground into numb nippy noses as was a graceful butterfly, traveling freely to miscellaneous flowers and spreading the fragranced pollens everywhere. When the first breeze of cool air heads your way and a green leaf loses its emerald coat, it's the signal that autumn has arrived at last.

Up the ladder: They that do not scream

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 5.1430435
Overall Rank: 5393
Posted: June 15, 2005 6:41 PM PDT; Last modified: June 15, 2005 6:41 PM PDT
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Comments:
[6] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 15-Jun-05/7:14 PM | Reply
At the end I'm dying for a No. The poem in itself is not a bad idea and the phrasing is decorative.
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > deleted user | 15-Jun-05/7:22 PM | Reply
Thanks.
[8] Gaiadok @ 69.61.226.6 | 15-Jun-05/7:18 PM | Reply
Hmmm... I rather liked that actually. I believe the questions and yes answer got a bit repetitive, but I can see that was kind of the point as well. Perhaps there is a way to cut down on it? But, anyway, good job.
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > Gaiadok | 15-Jun-05/7:22 PM | Reply
Umm...i prefer it to be this long. But thanks for the suggestion. And glad you enjoyed it.
[8] Gaiadok @ 69.61.226.6 > lil_evil_boi | 15-Jun-05/7:30 PM | Reply
Ah, you misunderstood me. Not the length of the poem itself, I liked that, I mean the question/yes thing. It's good, but perhaps too much of it. Oh well, as the writer, take it anyway you want with it, just a suggestion.
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > Gaiadok | 15-Jun-05/7:48 PM | Reply
Oh. Sorry..I didnt quite catch that. My apologies. As for the question/yes thing, what do you think about it? Do you think it would be better if I simplified it? But do you think the reader will understand each verse and knowing that they each represent autumn's unique characteristics and personalities?
[8] Gaiadok @ 69.61.226.6 | 15-Jun-05/8:52 PM | Reply
Perhaps there are a few that can be simplified into each other, but then again, maybe not. Maybe I just don't like the style as much as I do others, I'm not quite sure. Try reading it with thoughts of how to bring personalities together maybe? Or compare the personalities, instead of questioning each one individually. Your call
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > Gaiadok | 15-Jun-05/9:11 PM | Reply
K. Thanks again~
[9] sacred_poet_me @ 70.68.76.244 | 15-Jun-05/9:38 PM | Reply
I love the repetition of the question and the yes. Also you've described each of autumn's personality really well. I think you deserve a -9-
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > sacred_poet_me | 16-Jun-05/7:50 PM | Reply
Merci.
[8] Dan garcia-Black @ 66.218.59.221 | 16-Jun-05/8:30 AM | Reply
We have no Autumn where I live. Thanks for the images.
[n/a] lil_evil_boi @ 70.68.76.244 > Dan garcia-Black | 16-Jun-05/5:11 PM | Reply
Really? Cool. Where do you live?
[8] Dan garcia-Black @ 69.237.76.28 > lil_evil_boi | 16-Jun-05/5:21 PM | Reply
LA, Southern Cal. We have Summer that goes through January when it begins to rain and then Winter that pretends to find Spring in Apri but it's really only Summer with foggy mornings and hot afternoons.
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