Re: life by -=??lilaznjen??=-	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.255.61	20-Sep-06/5:07 PM
10/10 for tragic garbage.
Re: love is true by -=??lilaznjen??=-	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.255.61	20-Sep-06/5:08 PM
You appear to be ill.
regarding some deleted poem...	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.255.61	20-Sep-06/5:10 PM
Illiterate drivel.
regarding some deleted poem...	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.255.61	20-Sep-06/5:11 PM
puerile.
Re: Fun At The Gynaecologists by Edna Sweetlove	colbaby 203.166.96.236	20-Sep-06/6:02 PM
Women have all the fun. I wish I was one. I'm going to the dentist. 9/10.
regarding some deleted poem...	pete 195.92.168.168	20-Sep-06/7:02 PM
starts off rocking and twists to sinister and disturbing scenes in what is possibly an exceedingly powerful and subtle poem ... or is it a creative writing project-excercise-thing ? if so it's still a lot of fun
regarding some deleted poem...	half.italian 70.36.242.152	20-Sep-06/8:46 PM
Not much there.
Re: I Have, Because I Am by flock	half.italian 70.36.242.152	20-Sep-06/8:55 PM
I kind of liked the first few stanzas, but it just got worse as it went on, and then worse again until the final cliche ruined it entirely.
Re: Prayer by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 86.137.108.154	21-Sep-06/12:31 AM
Hey Amanda, sorry I've not yet replied to your email. I will though, bear with me! This seems very much like a short psalm; lyrical and dramatic. I'd split line 2 into two (finish on 'night'), and finish line 3 on something other than '-ing' (give it a word with a strong ending). Still nice, needs music methinks :-)
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 86.137.108.154	21-Sep-06/12:45 AM
This is beautiful, although complex. I'm seeing a beggar finding a coin in the first passage, not sure about the swan yet but this is one of those poems which I want to come back to and keep reading. Reminds me of Sunny's poems actually - http://www.poemranker.com/user-browse.jsp?id=141255 Will return to this :-)
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 86.137.108.154	21-Sep-06/12:49 AM
The story's told well enough, but it's not a hugely gripping tale. Kind of made me think of this: http://lyrics.duble.com/lyrics/H/harry-chapin-lyrics/harry-chapin-mr--tanner-lyrics.htm
Re: The Surfer's Prayer by flock	nightowl 198.54.202.234	21-Sep-06/1:29 AM
everthing and then some. well said. keep riding them waves of life with vigor and with dreams. to god be all the glory. x
Re: Rain by flock	nightowl 198.54.202.226	21-Sep-06/1:31 AM
I feel it. x
Re: I Have, Because I Am by flock	nightowl 198.54.202.234	21-Sep-06/1:52 AM
It starts off in an intimate detail of moments that the poet holds dear, then builds up into a climax of successive emotions and expressions of life. On Dovina's comment, yes we do all experience most of those things but isn't that what we've been given to experience? And by reading someone else's experiences and knowning these feelings and things for ourselves, does this not make us relate to the poem so much more?Isn't this what life is all about? To experience life by ourselves and with others? To be? So Flock, you were, you are and you will be because you have. Awesome poem. Continue living life to the fullest for it's been given with the greatest love. x
Re: if really its me by Landon2	Ranger 86.137.108.154	21-Sep-06/2:35 AM
Could do with a run through the spellcheck.
Re: Its Hard to Say by celticskatermatt1	leonxic 129.7.120.229	21-Sep-06/10:17 AM
"Ohhhhh, if you want possession, it's just 'ITS', but is you want a conjunction, it's 'IT apostrophy S' ... scalawag." Very nice.
Re: Musical Buttocks - Cha cha cha by Edna Sweetlove	leonxic 129.7.120.229	21-Sep-06/10:26 AM
I'm in complete agreement with you, although you failed to mention the large amount of fecal matter that inspired Beethoven's Symphony 'Number 2' in D Major.
Re: Suicide Dream by Ranger	leonxic 129.7.120.229	21-Sep-06/10:29 AM
How 17th century of you. There's a very nice flow to this and the word choice is perfect.
Re: Week End Justification by half.italian	dvincent 71.109.114.41	21-Sep-06/10:40 AM
Half.italian, another good poem! Original, lyrical and thoughtful. "Bones rubber a bit.." is great! I'm not crazy about "...fly tipsy...", but I also love the last three lines. The point is: it's not "the usual." It's a fresh, UNusual way of looking at a subject, with fresh, unusual word choices. Nice job.
Re: You by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 86.142.242.175	21-Sep-06/10:43 AM
Line 4 - reduce to just 'descend' Line 22 - change round to 'He opens new doors' (sounds incredibly forced at the moment) Last line...'big bad' is a little trite, this poem needs a killer endline to really knock us for six. I have to say, though, I'm glad to see you posting again - it's good to be able to rely on someone to post lighthearted and all-round nice poetry :-)