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You (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta There are tough days
when life's a dead end,
when worldly struggles
upon me descend
when I've reached the limits
of human patience
and all that I live for
keeps caving me in;
It's moments like these
God sends me His force
To make me feel loved,
His presence so close,
He sends me an angel
To guide me along,
To freshen my heart
To sing me a song,
To give me the courage
To do what is right,
Help lend me a hand
or show me the light.
And when least expected
new doors He opens
an angel to guide me
and boldly step in.
It may be your smile,
it may be your word,
An angel you might be
in this big bad world.
Up the ladder:
There is a journey tree
Down the ladder:
What A Little spark Can Do
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Posted: September 21, 2006 4:41 AM PDT; Last modified: September 21, 2006 4:46 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.2689414 Overall Rank: 3821 Comments:
Reminds me of my girlfriend Lola. She's my angel.
I love doggerel. But onky talented doggerel. Which this is not.
I love comments. But only intelligent comments. Which that was not. -bow'ls-
I meant "only", not "onky". But still 0/10.
very "hallmark card"
Some of the best half rhyme I've read here.
i cannot see any reason why this line should read as such:
"new doors He opens" there is no rhyme that it is matching up with, but the effect of the flow is rather devastating. perhaps rework it to a more "normalized" sytax? 289 view(s)
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Line 22 - change round to 'He opens new doors' (sounds incredibly forced at the moment)
Last line...'big bad' is a little trite, this poem needs a killer endline to really knock us for six.
I have to say, though, I'm glad to see you posting again - it's good to be able to rely on someone to post lighthearted and all-round nice poetry :-)