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You (Free verse) by amanda_dcosta

There are tough days when life's a dead end, when worldly struggles upon me descend when I've reached the limits of human patience and all that I live for keeps caving me in; It's moments like these God sends me His force To make me feel loved, His presence so close, He sends me an angel To guide me along, To freshen my heart To sing me a song, To give me the courage To do what is right, Help lend me a hand or show me the light. And when least expected new doors He opens an angel to guide me and boldly step in. It may be your smile, it may be your word, An angel you might be in this big bad world.

Ranger 21-Sep-06/10:43 AM
Line 4 - reduce to just 'descend'
Line 22 - change round to 'He opens new doors' (sounds incredibly forced at the moment)
Last line...'big bad' is a little trite, this poem needs a killer endline to really knock us for six.

I have to say, though, I'm glad to see you posting again - it's good to be able to rely on someone to post lighthearted and all-round nice poetry :-)




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