Very amusing. I loved the negroid bit.

Deeply boring and pretentious. Over-punctuated and empty.

The Tao of Dovina.

Reads like a song. Call it a lyric and give it a tune.

Utterly terrible. Total defecation. 10/10 for a good laugh!

How do you do it?

Tenning this out of sheer principle. Also because the first stanza is utter genius.

Trite. You probably don't even know what a fascist is. I shall be generous for a change: 1/10

A bit of punctuation would have done no harm. But it's OK I suppose. Noy exactly profound that last line, is it?

A combination of pretentiousness and ignorance. Boring too! I'll be generous and score it 4/10, no silly me 2/10.

Actually it's England that's on the wrong side of the street. We had cars first. Anything to prove your not our 51st state.

Not short enough. It is wonderful to find someone who writes a two word poem AND ONE OF THEM IS SPELLED WRONGLY! An unbeatable achievment.

Well, this poem is very badly written. It also contains poor grammar and syntax. And the primordial slime bit is a bit over the top. I am tempted to give it 0/10 just out of bitchiness but that would be unfair as it holds a kernel of truth in its clumsiness. So 5/10. You can't say fairer than that now can you, Al, dearie?

Embarrassingly badly written. The first stanza is doggerel. The use of "man" in the last line is appalling. I think you have found your true vocation in the armed forces. A gun will lie better in your hands than a pen. Happy shooting and killing!

It's not that you are illiterate (a common failing among Americans, and one I am delighted to see you do not share) but that you are a very poor writer. "An ambulance was a mother’s womb The gunshot victim, in utero, waited to be birthed" Surely you can see that is pretentious twaddle? Why not write and condemn a country which allows unrestricted access to guns?

This shows promise especially the references to the horrible car you drive. What a pity it is wrecked by these hideous lines... "to where I wanna be But my mind is floating off the berm" Why use a non-word like "wanna"? And what does a raised river bank have to do with it?

More illiterate crud.

Why don't more people think like this?

I'm not sure I deserved a response such as this, but thank you. This is very good, however im not completely sure of the over-all message you're trying to convey here. And evil is not a mystery, evil is me. I am evil, I am the DEVIL (woogy-boogy).

Don’t “think twice about God or the Devil. We are fragments in a sea of ineffable words.” I feel that way often. Sometimes I think it’s impossible to talk about God or the Devil without resorting to analogy or metaphor. Some say that if anthropomorphic language is all we have in these matters it becomes added evidence for their non-existence. I disagree but see their point. Some good thoughts here, but could be more poetic, and at least called “prose poem.”