Well said.

"Touched" is an interesting word. It can also mean crazy. If used so more than on possible meaning attaches, interest in the poem rises. Here, it's just showing two of the meanings without that connection.

An unfinished piece---

So the censor is XXXing all those thoughts or lines- like pee filtered in your body by the liver- still not a great poem, though I guess I understood it-

someone had to write it!

I got it. Not great stuff, though.

Bravo!

I just noticed you spelled Equinox wrong too so I shall amend my previously over-generous score of 1 to a nice round 0.

Fixed.

Excellent stuff!

I liked this a lot! Could see an easy progression type poem- next stanza: Benefiting two..

doesn't do it for me-

The "don't bug me" I take it refers to the other person waiting to get into the bathroom, named in the title-

Tedious old bollocks.

Utter bollocks except fore the bit about pissing.

Doggerel but quite amusing doggerel. A bit tedious.

Ahh! Cof-fee!

And so you are! Kaolin Fire!

Very sing-song. I hear the last verse as a loud chorus sung over and over!

It’s the kind of exposition and soap-boxing I’ve been blasted for these several years, and the kind of thing I still get all gushy about. But “irony of fate is lost” – is too nebulous even for me. Good otherwise.