DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

innocent voyeur

Member since 2001 · Posted 19 Apr 2004 · Edited 19 Apr 2004 · 16 comments

I like to watch people interact and make the faces no one sees and try to guess what information's passed and what the interactions mean-- what it is to be this human thing.

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13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

A favorite of nentwined.

16 comments

[9] deleted user 19-Apr-04/4:49 PM Reply

I would lose the last line. It introduces another topic. Otherwise good.

[n/a] nentwined › deleted user 19-Apr-04/4:50 PM Reply

Done. how now? :)

[9] deleted user › nentwined 19-Apr-04/4:53 PM Reply

Better.

[n/a] nentwined › deleted user 19-Apr-04/4:56 PM Reply

Thanks. :) I worried about the last line before posting (wrote it (well, the whole poem), drunk, at a bar, several months ago).

[8] Shuushin 19-Apr-04/5:10 PM Reply

that last line, man.

what can be done?

[n/a] nentwined › Shuushin 19-Apr-04/5:19 PM Reply

Still? No, I like that one.

The previous last line, the line after the current last line, was... "all else imagination.".

Tell me more.

Or are you just "what can be done?" in general? :)

[8] Shuushin › nentwined 19-Apr-04/5:46 PM Reply

I like the poem[e] quite well up to that last line - it sounds like you are trying to avoid a question via syntax.

[n/a] nentwined › Shuushin 19-Apr-04/5:56 PM Reply

Hmm. I think the whole poem avoids questions; it's meant to be a statement of unknowns that I attempt to fathom.

[9] zodiac 19-Apr-04/5:52 PM Reply

The (current) last line seems fine to me.

[n/a] nentwined › zodiac 19-Apr-04/5:57 PM Reply

cool beans. :)

I'm liking it more and more, myself.

[8] Shuushin › nentwined 19-Apr-04/6:06 PM Reply

Fine. FINE.

I'll just go back to smoking crack then (really, I was splitting hairs)

[n/a] nentwined › Shuushin 19-Apr-04/6:19 PM Reply

Well, if you've got the razor, you might as well use it. :)

[8] Shuushin › nentwined 19-Apr-04/6:23 PM Reply

heheh - good one.

[n/a] richa 20-Apr-04/1:29 AM Reply

'the faces noeone sees' nope - you see them for a start and I am assuming the situation is public view so so do a lot of other people.

[8] ggawrysi 20-Apr-04/1:59 AM Reply

i don't think that "passed" should have its own line... it's not an action word like "interact." otherwise i like it, last line and all

[10] Jill Stockinger 15-Jan-07/7:36 PM Reply

Excellent stuff!