poemranker ::The Sleep Fantastic by nentwined

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Free verse № 119929

The Sleep Fantastic

Member since 2001 · Posted 10 Feb 2005 · 5 comments

the critter once was there before mouth agape, noise asnore sleep fantastic evermore until it did awaken; when it woke awake it stayed a goodly time was while it played 'til finally it did cave and sleep a bit again; and roam it did within the cycles sleep of death to life of wake and when it forewent one (that's sleep) death would visit waking steps waking steps would plod the land mind slipped far from being until no more was left of self and there be zombie being until sleep then is once more found and zombiehood is tightly bound and mind is fresh, renewed, and sound you're stuck with zombie being.

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mean 8.38 weighted 5.91 rank 1453 views 516 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

A favorite of nentwined.

5 comments

[8] Dovina 10-Feb-05/7:56 AM Reply
You're being imbic with a myth-like tale. But in a few places you sacrifice clarity for it. In Line 6, I thought "was" is distracting. And if being imbic is important, then why the lapse in Veres 3. Line 3? Like it.
[8] wilco 10-Feb-05/4:32 PM Reply
super.
[7] Fugazi 5-Oct-06/12:44 AM Reply
Be interested to see which dictionary holds the word zombiehood, as I can't seem to find it anywhere, apart from that .. interesting.
[10] Jill Stockinger 15-Jan-07/7:23 PM Reply
Very sing-song.
I hear the last verse as a loud chorus sung over and over!
[8] Kamikaze 21-Jul-08/9:19 AM Reply
mmmmm...Zombies!

This sounds like me before coffee.