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The Sleep Fantastic (Free verse) by nentwined

the critter once was there before mouth agape, noise asnore sleep fantastic evermore until it did awaken; when it woke awake it stayed a goodly time was while it played 'til finally it did cave and sleep a bit again; and roam it did within the cycles sleep of death to life of wake and when it forewent one (that's sleep) death would visit waking steps waking steps would plod the land mind slipped far from being until no more was left of self and there be zombie being until sleep then is once more found and zombiehood is tightly bound and mind is fresh, renewed, and sound you're stuck with zombie being.

Dovina 10-Feb-05/7:56 AM
You're being imbic with a myth-like tale. But in a few places you sacrifice clarity for it. In Line 6, I thought "was" is distracting. And if being imbic is important, then why the lapse in Veres 3. Line 3? Like it.




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