Pretty. Would it be better to remove the last 'and'? I like that you placed 'still' before 'against my skin' instead of the obvious ' memory still fresh'. My mind fights to leave it out there. This way there's the possibilty of it always remaining fresh.

I keep waivering between the idea of whether or not this should remain so small, or if you should try to write more stanzas for it? I do like it.

I see two very unhappy people commiserating each other, one of which only finds peace where there is space and distance around them... using duty as an excuse to get this. (I realize that what I see is probably not what you are saying. I know there are withins within withins and there are some who like to rub my nose in my lack of understanding... not saying that you are one of these... just that they do exist. This makes me a bit shy of exposing my ignorance.) Regardless of my understanding of this poem, I think it is very good. I look at 'material art' in the same way. I do not have to consciously understand brush-strokes and well bent lines to enjoy something. I appologise for my crude answer.

Great title. You forgot the question mark. I thoroughly agree with your assesment. I'm constantly being transferred between the pysch. ward and cardiology. Why so brief, these poems of yours?

I don't like the world outside either. The alarm clock signals a kind of slavery I think, it also frightens me. I use to forget each time, now I work nights, so there is no hurry to wake. the days are mine. this poem could be more interesting if you replaced some of that spinning and squeezing with a little more insight.

PLEASE COMMENT ON MY POEMS

Dull

Oh, I see, twelve hits and no comments. Well obviously you're good at writing humourous verse, so that's not much of a comment, there's really nothing more to say. It's cute, the sentences all make perfect sense, except for the last, 'I don't want to trouble you' how is your schizophrenia and need for attention troubling to the others on this site?

By the way, the rhyming of I & II are about as clever as it gets. I think you could stand those up next to anything Ogden Nash.

What a tender slice of crap.

Mue

The first time I've ever seen pigeon poop maintain its meaning at 55 mph. I have to give that a 9. Though you are, disturbingly still, the ugliest man alive.

Because you're an asshole?

A joyfull work of quivering rotten will. A maggot pie. a tapeworm pasta salad.

I'm part of the Manson family on the WB. Pthptttt. I'm a fucking killer. When I'm not growing squash on the ranch. I'm cooking sharon tater tots.

I couldn't get past the second stanza. However, if you put in more crowing voles and less homosexuality in Hayzeuses bum I might eventually give it a zero.

Beautiful, an utter down pillow of pretty sweaty nights in Peking.

Lovemaking makes squelchy noises.

http://www.oxfordstudent.com/2001-02-22/ox2/2 You must be the one in the black jumper and pink lipstick. I do hope the Prosopography of Anglo-Saxon England Project is going well. Cheers. Yep. Cheers. Bye. Yep. Bye. You too. Cheers.

"The modern story, involving the torture of an American journalist (David Smith) by a military doctor (Alex Burghart), and the journalist's rescue by a soldier (Stephen Karam) is merged into myth when the characters take on new identities: the doctor as Hermes, messenger of Zeus, the solider as Prometheus, and the victim as mankind." The last time I was a "solider"? I was a giant chunk of Gay Dry Ice. Repeatedly refusing to melt I smoked like an angry crack, an grunmbling volcanic gourge making the tourists lick their finger and staple huge flaming peeneye to their foreheads. Unfortunately, a young wisened lad with an industrial condom fork came along and threw my heaving cloudy carcass into the rubbish where as I then wept to death next to a head of buzzing kale.