poemranker ::Note before work by poetandknowit

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Free verse № 70122

Note before work

by poetandknowit

Member since 2002 · Posted 13 Oct 2003 · 3 comments

These first hours back at my desk, away from you, the hum of the typewriter as company and the memory fresh, salt of the Tasman Sea still against my skin: those days of summer beneath a foreign sky, and your laughter.

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3 comments

[9] god'swife 14-Oct-03/10:09 AM Reply
Pretty. Would it be better to remove the last 'and'? I like that you placed 'still' before 'against my skin' instead of the obvious ' memory still fresh'. My mind fights to leave it out there. This way there's the possibilty of it always remaining fresh.
[5] horus8 14-Oct-03/11:23 AM Reply
What a tender slice of crap.
[10] not_a_philosopher 3-Apr-05/10:57 AM Reply
this is very beautiful