some deleted user
on some deleted poem
14 Oct 2003, 6:30 PM
Very realistic walrus.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
14 Oct 2003, 6:34 PM
Very clever...10.
Quite a nice natural flow. And a nice use of the language, many nice images.
Quite lovely.
I will say the first line made me immediately think of langston hughes - just that, and nothing else.
excellent.
Such flowing words - though I don't completely understand it.
The touch of rhyme in the middle is used to good effect.
"I spin rinse and tumble deeper into your realm."
nice.
something missing in the last line, I think.
a prosish (tm) seven, were it an actual sonnet, I would give you and 8.
cute. Meaningless outside of this place, the place of the purple pill.
skillfully rhymed (well, hell, you made up half the words).
no idea. but i like the horse collapsing imagery.
There's never a videocamera around when needed, is there?
Aflack my ass.
This is simple to see im in love with simple words that express the soul of man who is in contains of desire and just love can rescure him ,so i started to write desirous words upon the mask of days and nights
awesome title. Toss a questionmark into the text and call it done.
I like.
this is about a rose, right?
"droprain" is a cool word. actually there is an interesting slant to the language here (and a few spelling errors).
I'm guessing you could convey the same meaning and emotion in about a sixth the words.
it is amazing how many meanings "render" has.
I've seen you do alot with alot, and now - alot with a few. cool.
This should have a few stanza buddies, I think.
Quite a nice first stanza there.
Perhaps I'm a bit jaded, but some of the rhymes in the remaining stanza brought me pause.
I'm thinking you could consolidate the second and third to arrive at something that compares with the first.
"I see dead poems"
what did they whisper, what did they whisper??
I'm liking the title, and many of the individual lines. As for the thing-in-itself, I will nod knowingly, and select six from the dropdown menu at right.
Well Bachus... You're finally a head of your penis. lol. I've surpassed Blade to regain ownership of our pud.
Here's a 1.
Lord Chutney for one.