yes, the bridge line is the best, opera of obscenities is kind of disturbing. You could always try writing a poeme that did not involve smoking a cigarette.

Good, but a bit cliche. -8-

Damn. Now that's Verse!

I have so many questions about this one. Please write back if you're still here.

'have' should be 'has'. Other than that its true. -8-

not bad. a tad longer than it needs to be AND, I like to come to my own conclusions in a poem - without the author telegraphing what I should be perceiving. Like telling me its a "picturesque scene" then proceeding to describe it to me. One or the other, preferrably the other. Same thing with nature at its finest hour, imparting a lesson in life - know what I mean, vern?

Whose doing the mourning? No vote for now

I thought it was a definition of ennui, too, until the "Cancer" line. Makes the "dress to impress" a little more somber.

The ending is a bit choppy rhythmically

I enjoyed it immensely

Oh yes how beautiful. I often think it's very sad that we indiscriminately tred on dead leaves, crushing all their hopes and dreams. You know it doesn't really matter who does the mourning - everyone has their own interpretation, and opinions are what really matters. Besides, it's profoundly silly either way. Mourning what? Stepping on dead leaves? What in Sodomy were you thinking!? Thanks, -10-

My routine has been quite as meaningless for the past 2 months. Perhaps even more so. It can summed in 4 words... eat, sleep, eat, sleep....... Wish I could put it words like you

Seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum There's seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum Somewhere in the distance, seven people take a dump...

God doesn't need eyes, you idiot. He's psychic. Jesu only made light on the third day, which means He made the Heaven and the Earth in the dark. Clearly the work of a psychic being. So far, I have discovered that Jesu has the following special moves: - Psychic vision - Invisibility - Walking on water - Gourd of healing, enabling Him to come back to life when slaughtered - Transubstantiation (the ability to transform into a communion wafer) Muslim only has the following special moves: - Martyrdom - Twin, face-mounted AK47s - The Mysterious Ramamamadan Spell

The title reminds me of that panda gangsta book - eats shoots and leaves.

Wondering if you could somehow structure the thing to not sound like a shopping list of ennui; to flow a little better. couple good lines, the starting one in particular. But there are a few things that nag, like why dress to impress when there is vomit on ones face? I mean, other than the line _sounds_ cute - (maybe better in another poem, but then thats been done already I think). There's prolly a very nice poem in here after a little distillation.

I'm not good at math so I'm just gonna give this a 10 since it sounded pretty cool.

A bit too pleasantly cutesie.

Let them talk. I like some of these images.

I kind of dig this....