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Continuation (Free verse) by baughworm Among shaggy fir trees
The sickly she wolf rears her head
Toward a patchy peach colored moon,
Howling the most sincere song of woe.
Miles away,
Metropolisville USA,
An unnamed baby chokes its last unheard breath,
Before submitting to winterâs biting cold.
A well drugged mother checks into rehab,
Wanting to clean up,
Take care of her infant,
Lead a proper life,
Set a good example.
Before the daffodils bloom again,
The she wolf will be dead,
Leaving behind countless young
To sing for all the worldâs sorrow.
The mother will be high,
Leaving behind the rotting carcass
Of her forgotten attempt at eternal life.
Up the ladder:
nothing, as today
Down the ladder:
My Queen
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3636365
Posted: May 13, 2003 5:47 PM PDT; Last modified: May 13, 2003 5:47 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.181818 Overall Rank: 1004 Comments:
[8]
<{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154
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14-May-03/5:43 AM
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Reply
Jesus, you are on junky patrol. Well i'm with you. Line those weak chisel chins up for inspection. Let's cop a feel.
A vivid, classy poem big on imagery and very flow like. 9
Well thank you.
Seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum
There's seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum Somewhere in the distance, seven people take a dump...
You capture the imagery of the cycle well, without accidentally endorsing it. The contrast between the she wolf's immortality attained through submission to death and the drug abuser's tenous cling on mortality gained with the sacrifice of her child is superb. The double meaning of the last two lines is excellent. I'd be tempted to use "aborted attempt," but that could misfire.
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