poemranker ::Continuation by baughworm

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 49066

Continuation

Member since 2003 · Posted 13 May 2003 · 5 comments

Among shaggy fir trees The sickly she wolf rears her head Toward a patchy peach colored moon, Howling the most sincere song of woe. Miles away, Metropolisville USA, An unnamed baby chokes its last unheard breath, Before submitting to winter’s biting cold. A well drugged mother checks into rehab, Wanting to clean up, Take care of her infant, Lead a proper life, Set a good example. Before the daffodils bloom again, The she wolf will be dead, Leaving behind countless young To sing for all the world’s sorrow. The mother will be high, Leaving behind the rotting carcass Of her forgotten attempt at eternal life.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.36 weighted 6.18 rank 1004 views 202 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

5 comments

[8] <{Baba^Yaga}> 14-May-03/5:43 AM Reply
Jesus, you are on junky patrol. Well i'm with you. Line those weak chisel chins up for inspection. Let's cop a feel.
[9] Caducus 14-May-03/9:03 AM Reply
A vivid, classy poem big on imagery and very flow like. 9
[n/a] baughworm › Caducus 14-May-03/11:38 AM Reply
Well thank you.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 1-Apr-04/9:37 AM Reply
Seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum
There's seven lacerations on a South Dakoty bum
Somewhere in the distance, seven people take a dump...
[9] Joshua_Tree 20-Jun-05/9:41 AM Reply
You capture the imagery of the cycle well, without accidentally endorsing it. The contrast between the she wolf's immortality attained through submission to death and the drug abuser's tenous cling on mortality gained with the sacrifice of her child is superb. The double meaning of the last two lines is excellent. I'd be tempted to use "aborted attempt," but that could misfire.