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nothing, as today (Free verse) by <~> what if i were the one to turn?
what if another lit my eye, lifted me so?
what if you felt not the cold, because inside you froze?
what would you say?
Up the ladder:
Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS!
Down the ladder:
Continuation
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.3636365
Posted: December 3, 2002 11:45 PM PST; Last modified: December 3, 2002 11:45 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.181818 Overall Rank: 1003 Comments:
[9]
INTRANSIT @ 207.206.222.123
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4-Dec-02/4:41 AM
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Reply
I'd say you were rightfully movedd.
I am not the fan 1) of what if poems and 2) questions in poems. The questions are what we ask ourselves to get to the point of some sort of answer or resolution, which is the poem. But that is only my opinion. Intransit gave you a big score and he is obviously the general audience.
i'm not so sure this is anything more than a bitchslap, thrown up to air my wounds for a spell. but thanks for giving it credence and treating it as more than a pimple poem,which, i think, is what is ultimately is.
If it were a pimple poem it would have simple words like moon, wonderful, lover, heart and lots of ...s. Maybe you should put it in an octagon.
how about a mobile-type-shape? like 'unsaid'?
i am experimenting with more organic shapes these days, p&k. but if would please you, i will write an octagon. or perhaps, if i am feeling adventuresome, even a dodecahedron.
I don't know what the fuck you are talking about. No matter. This is but a glimpse I am certain.
well...
ahhh.shit.i'm a dirty bastard?
nahh one time at a bon fire my friend put a can of spray paint in the embers without me knowing...scared the shit out of me... what scares you? what's your favourite myth?
no, i don't think you're a dirty bassshtard. you sheem well-groomed to me <hic!>
'ector! more...olives! <she falls> <baba helps her up and carries her to the sofa, covers her with an olive wool blanket> shcared? i'm nbot shcared of nuthin'. (she slurs, but inside, she's saying 'heights! good lord, heights! how the fuck can p&k be so damn excited about that bungee jump? shit you'd have to bind me to get me near the edge, never mind harnessed in) but alound, she just says 'rollercoashtersh!" (even though she loves rollercosters, and is not afraid of them at all, not even the ones where your feet dangle, and you're 90 million stories up, 'cuz that part's over really quickly, and you're swirling and sweeping and pounding and looping and generally defying gravity with the help of a little speed...) "i love...rollercoashtersh!" myth, schmith. i'll finish tomorrr....zzzz. <hello, baba? this iz z's unconscious mind speaking. sorry about that. she still can't hold her liquor. yes, that's why she sticks to beer and wine, mostly. yes, i promise, she'll finish your questions tomorrow. no, maybe it'll be sunday. yeah, she is going to DC to march for peace. she never did anything like that before. her hippie friends arn't even going! they said it's too cold to protest war in iraq. oh well. she's a stubborn fuck, she is. no, don't worry, she's not driving 6 hours all alone. hatter's hare is going too. in fact, it was her idea. talk to you soon, schweetheart. xo, z)
interesting. I know how that goes, I do.
I'd say this is another tawdry example of my whimsical commenting style.
Fantastic. Minimal. Just what I was thinking the other day, only a lacked your articulance. Thank you.
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