regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-05/2:49 PM
I really think you could have made this better...
Re: Of the Lady on the Bridge by Verse2Verse	30-Sep-05/2:58 PM
I'd leave off the opening statement...and then proofread it..."to this to this shadowy bridge"? I'm guessing a typo...
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Sep-05/3:02 PM
Heaven showed it's furry?! How rude... On a serious note, you might want to proofread...(i.e. - furry should be fury) and maybe think over a few lines such as the first.
Re: After her storm (draft) by Caducus	2-Oct-05/8:13 PM
Lovely as always.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-05/8:15 PM
shorten it a bit and "the power over the stove" bit is awful.
Re: Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	2-Oct-05/8:18 PM
mmm...not your best, dear.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Oct-05/8:24 PM
Sometimes repetition can work...this is not one of those times. There's just too much of it here.
Re: Through Your Eyes... by jlynnwall	2-Oct-05/8:25 PM
waaaay too much repetition.
Re: False Reality by jlynnwall	2-Oct-05/8:26 PM
I like shades of drawn conclusions. Keep working on it.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Oct-05/1:19 PM
A good love poem and I love "jobless Mensa Members". It kept my attention for a while but then drifted off. Maybe if you shortened it a bit...
Re: Escape by Heather Dee	3-Oct-05/1:25 PM
Try saying it without the restriction of rhyme. As another recent poem states...rhyme is wholly overrated.
Re: capital punishment by hendrimike	3-Oct-05/1:27 PM
Try adding some punctuation to make it a little easier to read. Also, proofread. "Sentenced me to", not too.
Re: sap's pay by ay deee	3-Oct-05/1:28 PM
I just don't get it...maybe I'm thick.
Re: I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	3-Oct-05/1:32 PM
Rhyming is overrated. This is a good poem about that, but it's just not that interesting...sorry.
Re: Lost (not a poem) by Caducus	3-Oct-05/1:35 PM
This just doesn't have the...i don't know...vagueness I've come to expect from you. It didn't make me think. There's some good lines here but I think it could benefit from you MAKING it a poem.
Re: Idle by MacFrantic	3-Oct-05/1:37 PM
There's a song on the new Death Cab For Cutie album that this kind of reminds me of I think because of the simplicity and the signs...it's called "I will Follow You Into the Dark". This, I'm sorry tom say is not as good as that, but not a bad effort.
Re: Ode to the Sun by TLRufener	3-Oct-05/8:53 PM
work on it and tighten it up a bit and this isn't too bad. As it stands - 7.
Re: Small Furies by Enkidu	4-Oct-05/8:14 PM
pretty good story...wouldn't surprise me if it were true. I don't like the title, though...it's almost doubling up since Satan is widely regarded to be the devil and vice versa.
Re: The chestnut by richa	4-Oct-05/8:17 PM
not bad, rich, not bad at all.
Re: A Light in the Dark by Verse2Verse	4-Oct-05/8:25 PM
It started out okay but then just sort of meandered into mediocrity. Shorten it up and try saying what you want to say with less.